whiskeytown's downtown

2012-01-31T02:26:00.003-06:00

going to restart an old tradition - the Open Internet Challenge - take 40 bucks and build that bankroll -

$40 - .5/$1
$80 - $1/$2
$160 - $2/$4
$240 - $3/$6
$400 - $5/$10
$800 - $10/$20
$1600 - $15/$30 - (limits subject to change based on what the site offers)

and at $2000, you win - cashout, rinse, repeat.

first hand I got Doyle in the BB - that's NOT a good sign

RB

2012-01-31T01:59:00.002-06:00

man...the years went by quicker than I thought -

been googling some old emails, websites, and places of cyberpresence tonight since there are visitors and the BF3 servers are shut down and I've had one too many bad beats on Bodava this evening.

when your emails don't show up on google anymore, u can probably rejoice a little - this little ambitious experiment at the request of Felicia Lee (actually to get into a planet poker blogger tourney as I recall) came and went - it's heyday directly proportional to the amount of alcohol I consumed.

now we're all connected on facebook instead of poker blog links - like survivors of a war where we won the battles but got a raw deal in the armistice - poker's biggest star now is a parody cartoon of microgrinders - that works for me.

the hair and belly are greyer (actually will be working on that in Feb.) - but mostly, it just seems to have gone by quick - this year I will turn the big 40 - and while it's not as big as it used to be, I remember a cartoon where a guy had 3 surprise birthday parties - at 20, 30, and 40 - and for the first two he was like "aw, thanks guys" and for the 40th, he was like - shut the hell up already.

a lot has changed - but a lot has stayed the same - a coin operated arcade with 80's classics just opened up here in Minneapolis, and these folks who ran two failed businesses in the same location are now literally....paying the rent with quarters - what a great idea.

tomorrow I'll try to write another 14 songs in 28 days - and I expect a lot of failure but maybe an unpolished gem or even a nugget of gold to fall thru - we'll see

when I'm gone this and my 2+2 postings will be my legacy - when I run for public office, they will sink my career the first week - LOL - good times, good times.

wow....what the hell just happened - I got middle-aged

RB

2011-09-20T18:27:00.002-05:00

so here's the deal - Full Tilt is being called a ponzi scheme

http://news.slashdot.org/story/11/09/20/2238257/Feds-Call-Full-Tilt-Poker-a-Global-Ponzi-Scheme

I had an ad for the site on here - I received credit to my account for it (apparently manufactured out of thin air like much of the other money) - and when they folded and I lost $450, I had traded off $600 of my money in the last year on a 1-1 basis for money on other sites when I wanted to play on them - One other site in particular, Pokerstars, forced me to cash out and take my money.

fortunately, there are few readers left of this blog - so I hope I didn't lead too many of you astray.

Now seriously - WTF -

they were one of the three biggest players, and they had a license to print money legitimately - what the hell was up with raiding player's funds to pay extravagent bonuses when I would think typical money operations could cover it

gotta love that love of money stuff

2011-09-17T02:57:00.001-05:00

the problem with a buggy poker site with questionable software and bad results tracking is u never really know how good you're doing -

I know in those buck tourneys I've placed 4 times, bubbled once, and busted a few - I've made 20% of my Bankroll (I like to keep my buyins for MTT's to 1-3% of my roll) and I haven't struck gold yet in any 2-5 buck tourneys.

but the fact I do so well in a 120 player tourney regularly is a source of some joy - I guess if winning 7 bucks for 2.5 hrs means anything - LOL -

isn't that what Johnny Moss or Nick the Greek used to say at the end of their life, slumming the low limit tables? - Hey...it's action

RB

2011-08-29T00:52:00.001-05:00

playing a 1 buck tourney right now - the payout is small - (91 people) - the software is buggy, the means of cashout are dangerously suspect, and the future is uncertain.

Best $100 I've spent playing poker in a while

RB

2011-08-22T21:35:00.001-05:00

I just got $100 into an online website - I won't say which one, and I won't say how the money got there except to say I think it was all above board -

It is a questionable site from a software perspective, and it is a little flaky

I'm having flashbacks to the days when I was on Paradise Poker - (god those were great) using that old software and playing 3/6 with $100 online - (cause I didn't know bankroll management yet) -

gonna hang onto this $100 like it was gold though

RB

2011-06-12T01:26:00.000-05:00

playing a 215 dollar "free money" tourney - 8 game rotation

yah, I'm kinda bored

2011-06-01T02:13:00.001-05:00

deleted the FTP banner - I still appreciate them for the games they've provided but right now they've got a lot of US players in the lurch big time with no answers and I can't abide by that -

gotta admit, kinda like Phil Ivey shaking up the game tonight -

RB

2011-05-24T02:35:00.002-05:00

well, it's been a month or so - couple of the side sites have caught hell from the DOJ and some are staying open.

it's not worth it to deposit right now unless we know for a fact who is staying open and who isn't - and I suppose it's worth even less right down due to the high number of pros and experts who will dominate these games - no fish will just walk in and send a certified check overseas to a company to play poker - if it happens it'll probably be an impulse play - (like my initial signup was)

Man, I miss paradise poker today - the early cheesy screen - the one round (10 hand) SNG's that both party and they had - I miss party poker - I miss my favorite sites and Planet Poker and UB - just a lot of poker online to miss

the tourneys that had 400-500 players and weren't dominated by 4400 :D - I miss the outlaw status -

On an unrelated note - I'm getting married next month and I changed jobs so that now I work 2nd shift and would have the weekend free for the $215 Sunday Million

but mostly, I miss the artificial sound of the chips hitting the pot - live poker can't make up for it in the same way.

This blog has an interesting twist to it - in addition to chronicling most of my drinking binge, it chronicles my turn (in part) from a die hard Republican to something a little less oppressive - and if I ever had a reason to ignore the BS about giving people more "freedom", this would be it - Russians are all over my poker tables tonight and in the land of the free, you are not allowed to play poker online -

fuck it - I'm going to bed I guess

RB

2011-04-15T16:14:00.001-05:00

The bastards did it - they're going after the sites on charges of money laundering - stating that the means used to get cash into Online Poker sites in the US is illegal

fuckers
RB

2011-03-17T00:01:00.002-05:00

I have earned a slight degree of fame here and about over the years, sometimes from this blog, but more lately from my CD and the pimping it got on 2+2 - so once in a while someone zaps me in chat wanting to talk guitars, chess, or poker. Recently I picked up a lurker on the Internet Chess Club who has given me two pieces of advice I'm contemplating - though some of course, I've heard years before

1. - Forget Donkaments, and forget Holdem - the money is in non-holdem games, esp. Stud

2. - Forget the Scotch, play the King's Gambit

so tonight anyways I've dragged out my old Super System - (chip's advice is probably still the best out there) and am dining around on the old .10/.20 cent tables - not saying I'll love it with all my soul, but it's something I can do at home, online, and maybe find a comfort zone with -

so we'll see how it goes - still not sure about the King's Gambit though

RB

2011-01-25T05:04:00.003-06:00

over the next few weeks I hope to improve my poker strategy - so your first thought would be - WTF, whiskey - what have you been doing for 5 years...If I were to make a suggestion, I would say I'm working on Poker TACTICS, but not strategy.

to use another metaphor from chess, Chess tactics are things like forks, pins, and moves that are basically designed to win material by force - for example - if I get a white knight on c7, and there's no queen in d8 or piece attacking that square, I will trade a knight for a rook since I am attacking both a king and a rook - or a pin is when the queen is in front of the king and I line up a rook (protected) against them, thereby guaranteeing a trade.

In my mind, poker tactics are ABC poker - the right starting hands, the right sized raise, and getting your money in with the favorite.

I recently had enough points to get a free book on Pokerstars, and I went with "Winning Poker Tournaments one hand at a time" - three of the better online poker players literally replaying 300 hands of their best material.

What surprises me is how detailed their thought process is even in these first hands/early stages - and ESPECIALLY in their decisions of what hands to put their opponents on - I flip AK on a K high board with only minimal danger, I'm usually all in to a bet, wanting to get all my chips in as the favorite - but then, you get into what they can call with vs. what I can call with, and it becomes pretty gruesome -

in short, I think I've spent so long trying to memorize pre-flop and abc poker I forgot how to play a table - my online tourney success is in the toilet probably for this reason - we've established years ago how I'm an expert at getting to the 10% before the money :D

with some new expenses in my world and an impending marriage, it seems wasteful to take all this time and energy I've spent on poker and not push forward with it at the low limit stakes anyways - if I can do for chess what I've done for poker, I should be a winning player again in no time - and now that the fiance is working some, I have a few more blocks of time in which to push some chips into a pot

so let's see how this goes, shall we? :)

RB

2010-12-29T03:50:00.004-06:00

flashback a few years ago - I wanna say 2002 give or take - my first great relationship burned out, my job was tanking, and I was somewhere between despondent and drunk most of the time -

and my buddy Jerry gives me a call and asks me to meet him at a local bar where he spills the beans - he's moving to Nashville -

and somewhere in the hangover, or maybe just wishful projection, I'm pretty sure the offer was extended - "come to Nashville with us, and live in a spare bedroom till you get a good job, etc, etc"

and I'm sure I pleaded insecurity, or maybe the choice of not making a choice was enough, or maybe I was afraid to put myself out there (or maybe I was afraid of dying an alcoholic in their spare room) but I said no -

lately, I've been busy - gotten engaged - did my own album, and been successful at the work grind, but driving home at 4am this morning, from a losing poker session, it just started to hit me really hard -

I'm old now - old and settled - (not OLD, but old for the music scene) - and when the shot came, I should have gone to Nashville with them - I should have swung and struck out in the big leagues instead of trying to scrape an existence in the minors - I say this realizing had I done so, I wouldn't have met the current fiance, and other choices like the songs I wrote and the sound I got and the point I quit drinking could all be different or non-existent

but I regret not going - I regret staying behind and watching my hair go grey and start to fall out while my friends released 2 or 3 albums and hobnobbed with my peers - I regret not being challenged by better musicians, songwriters, and those in it to win it, and not to just dream it.

Tonight, at 4am on a cold Minneapolis night, I regret not moving to Nashville when I had no reason and no attachments not to

RB

2010-12-16T13:32:00.003-06:00

I have made one of those radical adjustments to play that will probably cost me long term but may (at least today) pay off short term

I have made a LOT of my bets/raises/calls lately based on my Pokertracker HUD display for my stats - I know I should be seeing between x and y number of hands, and I know I shouldn't be so passive pre/flop and my AF should be higher

But you know what - fuck that - I am tired of playing to stats and worse yet, I'm tired of losing as a result - I feel like I'm a slave to the 2+2 whore of maximum EV - and instead of playing cautious when I want, I'm bet, bet, bet cause they won't fold and I need to maximize value - I also spew chips like a drunk college student.

decided today to not give a flying f@##$ about what MY stats say and it's paid off with a $20 win multitabling over 4 tables at .25/.50 - I WILL get better at this game, and right now, since betting isn't scaring anyone away, I'm going to go back to what feels like my base game - Passive Weak-Tight :D

RB

2010-12-08T00:57:00.002-06:00

.... - The latest gossip is that the Tax Cut Bill that Obama is trying to push thru will likely have an addition by Harry Reid that will put steps in to legalize Internet Poker

What's the catch? - a 15 month blackout for US players

I've been trying to wrap my brains around this - On one hand, we're talking adding legitimacy to the back alley that has been in legal limbo for years - we no doubt will kill the games for 15 months - and hopefully the two biggest sites have prepared for this and saved some reserves.

And as someone else pointed out, you don't do this, what could happen to Inet poker in the future could be a lot worse.

And yet with Harry Reid pushing it and Nevada no doubt getting a ton of benefit from a 15 month freeze, one has to wonder how much MGM/Harrah's has staked on this...

Personally the whole tax cuts thing disgusts me anyways - let them expire for everyone if this damn deficit is so horrible like they say - and tax online revenues - fine - but a 15 month freeze (minimum) is IMHO a game killer -

but maybe everyone will be fine waiting 15 months - I don't know - I'll be down about it but there's always the live stuff, I guess

RB

2010-11-23T00:21:00.001-06:00

word of warning folks - every goddamn donkey with a draw is striking gold tonight

rb

2010-11-22T11:31:00.003-06:00

I go thru phases of interest - something attracts me for a few months or a few years, I burn out on it, and move on - Xbox was like that - alcohol and weed were like that - Cryptography and code/encryption breaking were a fad I didn't get TOO far into but still got a couple books on the subject - poker and blogging were a bit like that - right now it's chess and I think that's good cause it replenishes all the braincells lost in the activities before it.

lately for some weird reason, it's been jazz - This week I've been finishing up my night by signing onto a few cheap tourneys and cranking out late night Jazz - (Jazz with Bob Prolocha, to be exact) - u can find him on a lot of stations around the country so check him out.

To be honest, the changes don't always do it for me - I like the slower lounge type stuff now - I wonder what has changed in my brain - it's possible I've just burned out on the I-IV-V changes of so much of what I listen to - it's possible I want something in the background that's just mindless entertainment to a check-raising bluffin' fool

Maybe it's cause for the first time in years I actually listen to a radio and not a download or a pre-selected mp3 of artists I've filtered -

But lately, I'm thinking it's possible that it's the only act of rebellion left to me in a world where musical rebellion is pre-packaged dogshit, produced, compressed, bought and sold to the kids like suckers - Whatever Justin Bieber is, I want to stay the hell away from it as far as possible - maybe that's why I'm listening to Jazz.

rb

2010-09-02T04:51:00.002-05:00

trying to stay up as late as possible while the fiance sleeps downstairs so I'm playing online poker - gotta be able to stay up till 6am for work tomorrow and it's easier with entertainment then at work the next night - so I'm just doing that .50/$1 grind I do sometimes - back up to $253 - who knows - maybe someday I'll make it to $300

Man, I used to be more open and honest on here - more unafraid and intelligent and twisted - I suppose it was the chemicals - More willing to attempt to think and communicate - more empathic and concerned with the burdens of others - I used to be able to write that way with absolutely no regret or doubt

somewhere I lost that ability, but I don't think it's cause I lost my honesty - I think I just ran out of things to say - or worse yet, stopped caring what I said, as if my voice had nothing meaningful to contribute so why continue...

"while walking one day
I saw a wedding ring in the storm drain
a silver shiver caught in the stream of trash and rain
I then stopped
barely paused I recognized when and where it was
the metaphor was cheap but it wasn't lost
Ah you and me
doing our best to deal with the hands we were dealt
standing at the mirror looking for someone else
rain, rain, rain
rain, rain, rain"

Matthew Ryan - Rain, Rain, Rain

2010-07-21T23:05:00.002-05:00

Today I signed up for a $45 crapshoot that I busted out in 5 spots from the money with AJ and 3 times the BB vs the chip leader with A3 - I called it before it happened cause a lot of 3's had been hitting the board that day but this isn't about that hand

one of the things that kept me going at 10 times the BB was a hand I raised to 1800 (3BB) with a pair of 6's - the kid to my left says - "hmm...I'm debating whether to call or just push" - Now when I'm in a hand I stare at the board/bet like it's a Victoria Secret's Model - I don't look at or away - I am especially careful with a certain tell where I look away when a card that makes my hand comes up.

when he makes this statement though, I catch in my peripheral vision that he glances at me - looking for a tell - he plays with his chips - trying to get a read out of me - and finally pushes - I have him covered with about a grand to spare if I call, or 2BB.

And then I have to go in the tank and at one point he says "If you fold, I'll show" - he also asks if I got AK - (which leads me to believe for a sec. I'm looking at QQ but in retrospect he wouldn't have been so active with QQ and in fact, should have clued me in that I could beat him) - but especially the - "If you fold, I'll show" comment - and I said it straight out at the table - everything he's doing is indicating to me he doesn't want me to call.

so I say heck with it and push - he turns over AQ and my 6's hold up - and he goes "sir, that was a bad call with 6's but nice hand" - and of course, if he had shut his mouth and just pushed all in, probably he's right - and I'm not sure I'd call in that spot when I still got 7bb

but I played the player that time, and got in with the best of it - and flopped trips but didn't need another spade - LOL

days like that are all about the experience you've got when you've been playing for 10 years - it felt good - till AJ died to A3 - but a strong case could be made I should have tried to steal a couple pots but I was probably all in with AJ one way or another and the chip leader is probably gonna call with A3 one way or another, and it probably would have ended the same

enough misery - I've finished archiving my CD collection onto the Ipod - time for late night Applebee's

RB

2010-06-28T04:00:00.003-05:00

only thing better then dragging a monster pot is dragging a monster pot from a donkey - UTG played 60% of his hands - 10 hands after this one he was gone - hehehe

wow...can't remember last time I got it capped on every street three ways - friggen awesome

Poker Stars $0.25/$0.50 Limit Hold'em - 9 players

The Official DeucesCracked.com Hand History Converter

Pre Flop: (1.4 SB) Hero is BB with Q Q

UTG raises, UTG+1 3-bets, 6 folds, Hero caps!, UTG calls, UTG+1 calls

Flop: (12.4 SB) Q T 7 (3 players)

Hero bets, UTG raises, UTG+1 3-bets, Hero caps!, UTG calls, UTG+1 calls

Turn: (12.2 BB) T (3 players)

Hero bets, UTG raises, UTG+1 calls, Hero 3-bets, UTG caps!, UTG+1 calls, Hero calls

River: (24.2 BB) 4 (3 players)

Hero bets, UTG raises, UTG+1 calls, Hero 3-bets, UTG calls, UTG+1 calls

2010-06-28T02:04:00.003-05:00

well, the STEPS dream is dead - long live the WSOP - what is it I say every year....hmmm - oh yah, I remember - next year ;) - I consoled myself with multitabling 4 MTT micros, three of which are in the toilet and one of which is down to the last 30% where I am firmly squashed into the bottom 3rd of that - LOL

the ringgame bank roll is (as of this moment) at 200BB of the 300 I need to move up - I've won 66% (well, more like 60% and a quick bonus) - so dat's cool

I've been watching "The Pokerstars Big Game" on TV around here - some observations...

1. - the format (150 hands with an amateur who only keeps the profit of his $100K) lends itself to some ok play the first 2 or 3 nights but some wild gambling on Friday night when the amateur needs to double up or have no profit

2. - This is a SPONSORED program - that's the disclaimer on the start of it from my TV station, like an infomercial - inneresting. But it's not fulla Pokerstars pimping - they must give it local commercial time as part of the deal - PS could also be making the commercials part of the program, I guess, and offering a flat rate to the station - would be interesting since I've not seen that on a poker show in a broadcast market

3. - In this market, it's on the hr before "Poker After Dark"

4. - as a whole, televised poker has no interest for me, and certainly not WSOP poker with a hundred loose cannons, but the shows dedicated to the pros, and especially the shows that give some freedom to table talk, can be massively entertaining, though some of us have probably heard some of Doyle's stories 2 or 3 times now - LOL

5. - when you show LOTS of hands, it becomes obvious the bluff-fest you often see in WSOP shows where one hr coves the whole day is not the norm amongst these guys

anyways...I'll finish this game, take a show and maybe play some Civ 4 - up almost 9 bucks on my .25/.50 game - scheweeet

2010-06-25T16:02:00.002-05:00

well, operation bankroll has reached 10K hands and the results after an initial spike and decline are starting to look up again

can't get too technical today, but I've won approx 130BB since I bought pokertracker - add another 20 from before that and the $10 bonus and I'm almost up 200BB, which is 100 shy of my next bankroll jump (up to .50/1) -

I stagnated badly at the 5 k mark - went about 3k hands and reanalyzed my stats at the beginning of this month - I was shocked to find hands like ATs and ATo were losers for me and realized I clearly was playing too loose, probably in EP but probably also to raises - I still have to focus on my unsuited large connectors - (QJ, JT) as they are still losing hands but my new resolve to tightness, position, and starting selection really paid off as I've jumped up to 3.35BB/100 hands, which is a hell of a streak - it can't last of course - but I think I've been able to turn a slight corner, which is good - all that self-analysis I gave to chess has started to pay fast dividends

and NOW, of course I'm embroiled in a last minute dash for STEPS on Full Tilt - made step 4 and pushed one tourney to get another step 4 ticket - I am thinking probably over the holiday will be my last chance to get one of those tickets, and of course, if I do, I have to go to Vegas and cancel the Girlfriend's vacation, but maybe I can pay for something nicer later -

but like I said earlier, I'll just piss it all away on AJo sooner or later anyways - nearly did it with AQo the last STEPS tourney - :)

Nice to see some dilligence pay off though

RB

2010-06-21T02:12:00.002-05:00

hmmm...two weeks to the main event - no chance to even get the time off and yet here I am playing in Full Tilt's STEPS tournaments - mostly cause I'm all off sleepwise this week, but also because, dang it - it's $1 for the first one - LOL

Step 0 - 99 players in a turbo event with 300 chips - hardest part is not losing your cool waiting for the stallers to call - ay carumba -

30 get paid - I'm like 10th out of 34 - guess I should probably fold AT suited in EP on a near full table :(

I have a gift though for getting to the top 30% - I can do it almost every time in a tourney with a 20% payout - but I've had some good SNG success too....so what the hell'

and there's the money - one $3.30 Step 1 ticket - uh...woot? - LOL

RB

2010-05-20T09:53:00.002-05:00

so here's what crossed my mind this morning 4-tabling while waiting for the GF to join the wakey world

limp in SB with 23 offsuit and flop 2 pair - check raise on flop and get reraised - end up facing down a set of threes and think "ach, that's unfortunate"

Then I remind myself - every hand at .25/.50 is an unfortunate hand - ;)

rb

2010-04-28T14:16:00.003-05:00

I just spent 48 hrs in purgatory - let me explain....

girlfriend decided to give me a gift and got me a 44 hr vacation in Vegas - about 10 less then I prefer for 8 hrs of air travel, but a free trip is a free trip

Went to the Trop and got what may be the worst hotel room in the place - first floor right outside the driveway - went and requested another room and got one so far in the back my legs are still sore, but it was more private - with a beautiful view overlooking the ass end of the airport and a mirror on the ceiling - ah good times -

Basically spent 40 hrs dying slow deaths - about three $70 tourneys at Planet Hollywood - (20 min. rounds - 3000 in chips - decent structure for the strip) - and a $120 at Aria (30 min rounds with 8k in chips - for $120) - EXCELLENT structure and room there but there's a 1pm tourney and a 7pm tourney - 1pm had about 70 people and 7pm barely broke 25 and never had more then two tables, so I wished I had done the 1pm one

Dropped $70 in roulette and took my last $100 to play NL 1/2 at MGM Grand after a 4 hr nap - had a horrible sleep pattern never getting more then 4 hrs a shot mostly - slept 12 when I got home - I had a reserve $20 for Taxi money but was looking for local bank ATM's just to be safe

anyways, I am down to $50 when I hear of the $80 tourney at MGM and decide to rock one more time - I play hard and get up to $79 at tourney signup time whereupon a cool dude decides to give me the last buck - (they were all rooting for me on my all in where I took enough to get so close, so that was cool) -

I get in the tourney - probably 3-4 tables worth counting alternates and buy-in's - top 4 will pay -

interesting observation - blinds double at MGM - so dice start rolling FAST - never understood why someone would buy in for 3k at the end of the 4th level with 200/400 blinds, but what do I know

things finally pay off - nail a straight when my opponent gets top pair but trip'd on the river - got another hand that put me straight up to 16000 at first break and chip leader -

2nd hr I'm hot, busting three players, I think - got at least two AK's vs all-in's where I dominated and a 3rd time with KQ - the 4th time I took KQ vs 66 but didn't catch up - doubled up an Asian kid but no harm to myself

We get to the final table and we got a drunk who can barely count his chips and take like 45 sec. to push his chips or his cards every hand - in a ring game I'm happy with this but in a crapshoot with 20 min blinds he's starting to irritate me - fortunately we get down to 9 to 6 to 5 where I have A4 on an Ace/Ten/Ten flop vs an all in and another dude who BETS into me on the flop - was kinda PO'd but he did have a 10 but that's one of the times where you wonder what the hell he was thinking betting when we had the all-in - but he busted and we were down to four.

The other two busted out in short order to the chip leader - who was....guess who? - the kid I doubled up all-in with KQ vs. 66 the 2nd hr ;) - I'm about 4-1 down in chips with little room to wait - the first hand he gets all in and I have 67 suited and decide to call vs his A8 - I get the 6 and now it's more like 60%/40% in his favor - next hand he pushes again and I call with TT vs QJ but he rivered a Q to bust me -

that one tourney made up all my losses and took me back to even at 504 - $25 to the dealers for toke and I gave $6 to the dude who gave me the buck - - ended up dropping another $140 in a NL game and winning $80 at roulette for $60 down but that's cab fare, food, and other stuff so I figure I was even.

And as my hero Townes says, (after winning and losing one game each of $100 9 ball) - if you break even, that's like Purgatory - but getting up to Purgatory in the hell that is Las Vegas gambling is pretty darned good - ;)

good times - maybe I'll make the trip back this winter

other observations - the new Aria is sweet but the City Center as a whole is ridiculously huge - unreal - Vegas in April is still livable and walkable - and be careful where you leave your blackberry - looks like I need a new one unless Lost and Found gives me good news but looks bad 48 hrs later -

rb

2010-04-13T06:15:00.003-05:00

not a lot of luck on the poker front right now - BUT - chess front is going ok...

watching "Bright Lights, Big City" - a movie famous for it's portrayal of drug usage and decadence. Michael J. Fox doing his young acting thing. What's inneresting to me is the portrayal of the literary life in New York in the 80's - to imagine a research office full of encyclopedias, phones ringing, and the solid foundation of terra firma paper almost seems alien to us now.

A time when bookstores were made out of wood and discriminatory instead of box stores built online - a time when Apartments in Manhattan were moderately affordable and even then the old-timers were raving about the old days when writers really ran with the bulls, right.

back when one's writing was a fingerprint - an identifiable trademark - a legacy and not something that could vanish with the crash of a server. Something that could be held in the hand. I half wonder of the next generation of e-readers which try so hard to mimic paper aren't representative of our longing for this time.

I'd have been SO screwed without spellcheck though - without the squiggly red line in my typing, I'd be beyond hosed in the real world

rb

2010-03-16T05:48:00.003-05:00

Holy mother - when you nosedive on 4 tabling, it's a dive - taken some hideous beats - down to $218 which puts me back to about 130BB, way short of the 200 I had - it'll be back to one table for a while - but THAT'S why they recommend 300 BB's ;)

Actually, I'm thinking the smart thing would have been (and still is) to cash out after a couple big wins - LOL - or more specifically, start 4 tables, get the one that's winning, and drop the other three asap :)

we'll see how it goes after a while of one tabling -

rb

2010-03-07T22:06:00.001-06:00

today would have be my Hero's birthday (Townes Van Zandt - died in '97 at age 52)

kept thinking of what I could do to celebrate without getting drunk - and somewhere along the way it was like "man, go take your money and find a poker limit higher then what you're used to - and just go play - and don't care about the money - just play your best and don't back down and if you lose, just walk away like nothing bad happened"

and maybe find a nice cigar - :)

love ya, Townes - rest in piece and happy birthday

2010-02-25T15:08:00.002-06:00

bankroll up to $230 - by all indications, I'm halfway to moving up in the limit - (I honestly can't remember if I started at $150 or $160 but at this point I'm going to assume better results are forthcoming anyways at this limit)

some interesting stats - PFR is 5.72 and a VPIP is about 17.42 - I think both could stand to go up 3 percentage points....

aggression factor way down (.83) - want that around 1.0 or above at least

of the hands I've played $22 has been won solely on AA with some nice dings too that dropped $10 pots so I'm still way ahead there - AKs not so hot with only 5 hands but AKo is doing fine so I won't worry

played 2322 hands (since I bought PT) - guessing there's another 700 there I missed when I didn't have the new hand history options enabled

made a third of the way to Bronze star status on Pokerstars - no way that goes over until I move up a limit though ;)

I've played 20 hrs total since buying PT - this is important cause I anticipate this going down when summer comes - just sayin'

think I'm going to hit 2+2 and see if I can find some equal mentoring/sweating

RB

2010-02-17T13:32:00.000-06:00

there's a quote in "Shadow of the Vampire" that's one of my favorites and really gets to the heart in my mind of what that vampire mythos was... - (the premise of this quote is Schreck talking about the book Dracula, and he's clearly self-reflecting here)

"Dracula hasn't had servants in 400 years and then a man comes to his ancestral home, and he must convince him that he... that he is like the man. He has to feed him, when he himself hasn't eaten food in centuries. Can he even remember how to buy bread? How to select cheese and wine? And then he remembers the rest of it. How to prepare a meal, how to make a bed. He remembers his first glory, his armies, his retainers, and what he is reduced to. The loneliest part of the book comes... when the man accidentally sees Dracula setting his table. "

Basically, this quote came to mind today when playing my first NL tourney in I don't know how long - 6 months? = a simple $1+1R+1A tourney that requires a bare minimum of poker skill to survive but basically involves being tight the first hr.

I was thinking of that - can he remember how to steal blinds, raise bets - what a proper raise is - 3 to 5 times BB? - can he bluff and not make it look like a bluff by overbetting? These things came to mind today as I tried to remember how to play NL holdem tournaments - (basically something else to do instead of multitabling those friggen .50 cent tables) -

took 53rd after hitting with AK vs a pair and he rivered his two outer - lots of old familiar things coming back to me - some now amusing, some not so - (like my cussing at the screen when I nail someone trying to suck out on me) -

but one rule in particular I've never forgotten - I may break it but I don't forget it

Once you make the money for the day, you're done with tourneys - :D

RB

2010-02-16T10:18:00.004-06:00

Operation 50-cent grinder is stalled at the 33% mark - I tried pushing my Pokertracker statistics more to an acceptable limit of Aggression factor and feel I got punished more then rewarded for it, so screw what the database says....

hands like this make me wonder how much online collusion goes on sometimes

having said that, if online collusion is this dumb, I'll take it ;)

PokerStars Game #39791339096: Hold'em Limit ($0.25/$0.50 USD) - 2010/02/15 10:26:06 CT [2010/02/15 11:26:06 ET]
Table 'Iris IV' 10-max Seat #1 is the button
Seat 1: bb130550 ($2.90 in chips)
Seat 2: diogene38 ($5 in chips)
Seat 3: Suzanne2663 ($4.50 in chips)
Seat 4: Jlopo31 ($9.80 in chips)
Seat 5: AKlRA ($11.40 in chips)
Seat 6: whiskeytown ($9.15 in chips)
Seat 7: Leajacob ($8.40 in chips)
Seat 8: Heitom ($8.30 in chips)
Seat 9: MTM012 ($6 in chips)
Seat 10: werd444 ($15.35 in chips)
diogene38: posts small blind $0.10
Suzanne2663: posts big blind $0.25
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to whiskeytown [Ah As]
Jlopo31: calls $0.25
AKlRA: folds
whiskeytown: raises $0.25 to $0.50
Leajacob: calls $0.50
Heitom: folds
MTM012: folds
werd444: raises $0.25 to $0.75
bb130550: folds
diogene38: folds
Suzanne2663: folds
Jlopo31: calls $0.50
whiskeytown: raises $0.25 to $1
Betting is capped
Leajacob: calls $0.50
werd444: calls $0.25
Jlopo31: calls $0.25
*** FLOP *** [9h Ad Qc]
Jlopo31: checks
whiskeytown: checks
Leajacob: checks
werd444: bets $0.25
Jlopo31: raises $0.25 to $0.50
whiskeytown: calls $0.50
Leajacob: folds
werd444: raises $0.25 to $0.75
Jlopo31: raises $0.25 to $1
Betting is capped
whiskeytown: calls $0.50
werd444: calls $0.25
*** TURN *** [9h Ad Qc] [6s]
Jlopo31: bets $0.50
whiskeytown: raises $0.50 to $1
werd444: raises $0.50 to $1.50
Jlopo31: raises $0.50 to $2
Betting is capped
whiskeytown: calls $1
werd444: calls $0.50
*** RIVER *** [9h Ad Qc 6s] [2d]
Jlopo31: bets $0.50
whiskeytown: raises $0.50 to $1
werd444: raises $0.50 to $1.50
Jlopo31: raises $0.50 to $2
Betting is capped
whiskeytown: calls $1
werd444: calls $0.50
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Jlopo31: shows [Td 3h] (high card Ace)
whiskeytown: shows [Ah As] (three of a kind, Aces)
werd444: mucks hand
whiskeytown collected $18.95 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $19.35 | Rake $0.40
Board [9h Ad Qc 6s 2d]
Seat 1: bb130550 (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 2: diogene38 (small blind) folded before Flop
Seat 3: Suzanne2663 (big blind) folded before Flop
Seat 4: Jlopo31 showed [Td 3h] and lost with high card Ace
Seat 5: AKlRA folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 6: whiskeytown showed [Ah As] and won ($18.95) with three of a kind, Aces
Seat 7: Leajacob folded on the Flop
Seat 8: Heitom folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 9: MTM012 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 10: werd444 mucked [Qd Qs]

2010-02-15T05:18:00.003-06:00

you know it's getting serious when you pay for the new pokertracker - my old install of PT2 was long hosed anyways, so off to PT3 - I've made about $55 towards bankroll level of $300 - ($95 more to go) - tonight I started 4-tabling again to moderate success

Tried the new HUD - HATED THAT S#$% - I 4 table a tiled game and alter my seating so that all 4 are in the tight cluster and HUD doesn't follow. Too much clutter and at my level, virtually no one is going to be dangerous enough to be a problem...I DID like it telling what folks had at the end when it puts up the hands both players had - I can do that on the replay, but it's quick and easy

my total aggression factor is still above 1 but dropping (was 1.22 after one tabling and now down to 1.1 or so 500 hands on) - MUST raise more then call - must bet more then call - must muck the raisers except KQs and AQ/AJ suited - typical stuff.

No idea how I'd do in a real fight but at the .25/.50 limits I'd say as long as I have enough tables to keep me from getting bored and websurfing I'm able to bring 5-10BB's per 100 hands - a little better at one table I might add - I might move from one to two to four as I feel more comfortable with a limit

I got this poker song I am working on (virtually done) where I say "I've spent all my pennies, the nickels and dimes, but the quarters I save for the telephone line" - I kept telling myself after the bad beats - it's just nickels and dimes, man - nickels and dimes -

I killed the chat and extra Pokerstars graphics to keep it pure and undistracting - looked for average tables, not the ones with the biggest pots, and played tight till it got two-three handed and then I made some moves

Good times, great oldies - well...off to the gig tonight - rock and roll

rb

2010-02-10T20:22:00.002-06:00

been a while - been slumming that .25/.50 now for about three weeks - playing a couple hrs a day when watching TV on a netbook - (one table) - if a bankroll is 300 BB's, I'm 20% of the way to getting there - not sure there will be much else to report till I get a bit closer - but I should get there someday soon...

RB

2009-10-20T07:47:00.001-05:00

whoever said poker is a game of skill never played .25/.50 fixed limit - LOL

rb

2009-08-26T03:17:00.002-05:00

Been a nice couple weeks - last three sessions have almost all ended give or take with double my $100 buy-in.

Noticing a fundamental shift in my choices again - whereas two years ago I had written off ring games for tourneys - (i.e. the big money) - I'm now only interested in ring games again - specifically LL ring games at Canterbury - not even online -

It's a return to the tangible - to the human experience that made the game so enjoyable and the chowderheads so readable. It is that original freedom to play as long as you want, with as many buy-in's as you can afford, and the possibility to take your money and walk away without committing to a 10-12 hr marathon of escalating blinds.

It is about the potential of 80% of the table being winners instead of 10% (yah, I know you need a dunderhead with deep stacks, but the POTENTIAL is there) - It is about little wins and not needing to hit an ATM instead of building a bankroll - it is about not being afraid to reraise knowing even if you are sucked out upon, the cash loss is low enough you don't have to be afraid of the loss as long as you played it right -

and it is about stacking chips higher and higher instead of reading a number on a screen - my lord, I am so sick of looking at computer screens and clicking mouses - give me the waitresses with the unlimited mountain dews and the tablemates with some interesting converstion

but give me the freedom of the ring games - not the long term high risk contract of the tournaments - phooey

rb

2009-07-18T03:02:00.003-05:00

I am so ready for an uberpost - too many of us are gone - not the pros, but the amateurs watching from the sidelines reading books, taking swings, and apologizing to our significant others why we waste so much time on our terrible hobbies.

I re-read the first 6 months of this blog tonight - forgot how friggen good I was when I was self-destructive and hell bent - if I were still that way today, I wouldn't be writing, but I'm not writing anyways - (actually, I've been doing the rock and roller thing, but more like a folkie thing - you guys know all about that) -

I'm glad the exile (if that's what I call it) was documented - it's still an exile, but not self-imposed - now it just is what it is - I still hit canterbury and online- and in fact have played a lot more live then online - I'm sorta reverting to my old habits where I went to socialize and get a few bucks then for the purposes of building a bankroll - nice feeling -

true story - I dropped about $100 in a 4/8 hand this week - first time this has EVER happened to me - I flopped bottom set, someone else flopped middle set, and someone else flopped top set - turn paired the middle set - and I started to suspect I was doomed, but at 20-1 odds for a bad beat jackpot you gotta see the river - and I couldn't lay the river down - got 3 bets in there - rough hand, and rough beat, but dang, so close ;)

got a young lady who may come to visit for a few days - not sure where it will go and not sure it should go anywhere, but I won't be alone for a few days - and got my gig on Thursday - that's a nice comfort -

starting to rejoin certain discussion groups (2+2) and revisit old friends (Pauly/Iggy) - I have to say now, how the HELL do those WSPO guys last till Nov - I'd have half my expected winnings spent and probably would be living in a padded room waiting for my expected payout - not to mention worrying being out of practice - but as many have said, I'm so glad Ivey made it to the final table - no one deserves to be there more, IMHO

Maybe I'll try for the WSOP next year - maybe I'll try for better tourney strategy - I'll probably just play chess and do nothing meaningful with myself or my life, however - 'tis my nature

hope all your sets are top set -

pax
RB

2009-05-03T07:52:00.006-05:00

There's a lot I could say about the status of poker online in MN right now - someone has their underwear in a bundle - I should point out in disclosure, the ad I have for Full Tilt Poker is to your right, (assuming you don't use adblock or something) - and for some reason, that is one of the sites the Minnesota Department of Public Safety has on their list for blockage but as of Sunday morning, I have access and I have reason to believe their persecution will not be legally justified

so I'll let it go for a moment and get to my point.

Two weeks ago, I took my live bankroll and cashed it in - my attempts to build a bankroll playing 2/4 limit with a $5 rake and $1 jackpot drop are pretty much in the hole - Furthermore, I have neither the inclination nor the desire to continue that project - I was glad to win my bad beat jackpot share, and I'm glad to take what's left of it and run - I already ran with $250 or so, so I kept about $850 of my $1500 bankroll - not unlike my 401K performance - LOL

A lot could be said on whether the game is beatable, esp. at 2am with loose guns and no one can deny on a good night, with the right cards, it can be taken for $200, but I found myself tightening up and getting less and less interested in making the trip out there short of any reason but human communication. With some competition in the area now in Runnin' Aces, I would almost rather buy a convertible and make an hr drive up to play in the pocket A's promotion they have most weekdays and cash my comps when I go - just sayin....

In any case, I promised a return to periodic updates, and a resurgence of writing but all I did was slowly bleed until the process, while not fatal, ceased to have any real entertainment value to it, and let's face it, if we aren't playing because we enjoy it, why play?

having said that, you can fit any poker client on a 1024x600 netbook screen and I've been kinda enjoying that lately ;) - so no, I'm still here, and I'm still ready to tell the dept. of public safety to go screw themselves, but the live bankroll challenge is fini - personally, I'd rather play cheapo 1 hr 1 table SNG's for a while.

RB

2009-03-03T06:57:00.005-06:00

I just realized we're close to the 5 year mark in a couple months - holy mother....

just tried to bluff pocket J's with a pair of 6's and a busted straight draw online - why did I raise preflop again - oh yah, suited connectors - nerfhead

well, maybe I should post my bankroll - here it is

kinda sweet, eh? - that's about $1442, and I'll move up to 3/6 when it gets to $1800 - it was up but a couple losing sessions almost took me back to even money - meanwhile I'm dropping dimes online, but enough about that.

Tonight I want to talk about this exceptionally tall and beautiful African-American woman who came walking in at 3am - She looked really young, and she probably was, but I don't think she was wearing much makeup - I don't think she needed it. She sat down and folded a lot of hands - and she had the attitude of a woman who was there to play and not talk - so I pretended I was there for the same reason ;)

She came with a guy you'd expect - gotee, baggy clothes, and likes to comment on how others play - for a while though she was alone at our table - we got involved in a hand where she had called my KK raise and repopped me on a K98 flop.

Turn came a 7, and river a duck so I make my bet and she ends up folding but I get a caller and turn it over.

As I'm raking chips, I use this as an excuse to look over - (I used almost any hand she was in as an excuse to "study" her - she was pretty tight the first 45 min. and then started calling a lot of raises) but I sorta throw out there "two pair?" -

and she had been kinda stoic and quiet, but she gave me this smile that almost made me regret dragging the pot.

When her man came over, he griped about how he couldn't win - (both eventually busted out) - but she's giving him a back massage as he's dropping chips. I make a quip about how he's the only one getting the backrub but he mentioned that he pays for that too in his own way - I didn't mention to her I'd be willing to double his offer.

I walked away $85 ahead, but tonight, the definitions of winner and loser just didn't seem to apply. As long as she was going home with him, I wasn't the winner. I was just ahead for the night -

A classic beauty though - made those three hrs go a lot faster for once - wish I had the camera phone, not so that I could post it but just so I could look every now and again.

And then I remember I'm getting old and could be perceived as a dirty old man - yep - definitely not the winner tonight.

wt

2009-02-26T11:49:00.003-06:00

one more point about that post I made on the 23rd -

I believe it was Mike Caro who said "Money flows clockwise" - I can think of no saying that says so little yet says so much about the mechanics of how money works at a table.

Lesson - sit on the LEFT of the loose idiots, not the right. I'll remember that next time - I sorta knew that but there are some who want the loose cannons on their left - don't know why I didn't move right away - (wait, I know - no open seats - LOL)

RB

2009-02-23T04:42:00.004-06:00

it's 445AM and zero degrees outside - it was colder inside at the card table. Dropped my 30BB and about 5 more waiting for chicken strips that never got put in as an order.

Saw my KK get capped preflop and lose to guys who called and flopped an open-ender. AK and AQ never hit - just cold. It was one of those games with dumbasses who straddle your blind every time and raise with 10/3 offsuit.

Normally I can still sit tight and get cards on a game like that but another seat was hotter then heck and collared up twice off their poor play. My only comfort is seeing them buy in for a 2nd rack, go busto, and know at least I lost less then they did off their horrendous play. But I think they're rich kids with no jobs going to Miami in a few days, so maybe I got the bad beat after all.

Bankroll has dropped to 1405 - we'll give it a couple days and maybe go back Wed. night

RB

2009-02-21T00:16:00.004-06:00

so the last week or so, I started making trips out to Canterbury Park again to play 2/4 - I somewhat decided to re-invest myself into the game with a 2/4 bankroll of 1200 and see if I could get it up to $1800 and 3/6 but for the purposes of my ATM withdrawl - the first night was only $400 (until I got to another payday)

Overall plan was to get two more withdrawls and start grinding - at some point I'd find a limit I was comfortable at or more likely, would just start playing for my spending money and keeping paycheck going 100% to bills and mortgages

First night I made $125 - second night I made $80 which would cover a third of my destination.

I admit, a $5 rake and $1 jackpot drop is a bit intimiditing, but since it's at a 10% increment, and since most pots don't even get that big, and since I play few big pots as opposed to every other pot, it hasn't been an issue. I'm getting something out of the game again by playing it live and enjoying it more then sitting at the PC.

So last night I had the night off - and I decide to go out again - (gotta stay up late) - and a hand comes up that I'm sorta not paying attention to - a guy goes all in for about 4 bucks - I think there are two callers, but by the river I think it's the all-in and other player -

and the ruckus starts - I'm like "wow, that dude has quads" and the whole table erupts - whoops - bad beat jackpot - we thought it was gonna be for 100K but it was for 22K instead - nevertheless, I became about 1K richer after table share - (7 handed, so we split 5K 5 ways which ain't nothing to sneeze at) - but because of the way the hand played, no one was paying attention because the all-in had no one betting - it was like an 18 buck pot

So this is where Whiskey's headed - a restoration of the blog to it's former poker greatness, with all the jackasses, nincompoops, and nimrods live poker offers - the drunks, weirds, sickos, and losers that inhabit the world - as time permits - or until I have a losing night, which is bound to happen sooner or later -

Meanwhile I have a $600 bankroll online that I need to figure out what to do with - I'm thinking that'll be my tourney bankroll but no idea how to structure it yet - but the live bankroll is now up to $1575 and I'll be making a decision at $1800 whether to go to 3/6 yet or not

In any case, I'm looking forward to some live poker, cute waitresses, $2 baskets of fries, and watered down mountain dew

RB

2009-01-14T09:03:00.003-06:00

I just watched the Original Ocean's 11 - with the 1960's cast. Afterwards, I went thru some special features of the hotels - (Flamingo, Riveria, Sahara, along with the Sands and Desert Inn)

And then I got the sickest feeling of sadness in my stomach. I looked at the pictures of the strip and barely recognized it. But what I saw suddenly looked so much more beautiful the the Strip I know today.

The energy, the vibe, the entertainers. Before the mega-resorts - before "What Happens Here, Stays Here" - before, before, before.

The vastness of desert between hotels is what really caught me for a loop - before anything was out there - mamma mia...what I would give to see that Vegas a few times.

RB

2008-12-17T10:53:00.002-06:00

so I have this horrible bad beat story where I won a pot :)

Tuesdays at Canterbury are pocket A's tuesday - if you lose, you get 75 bucks - I got them the first time and won 15 bucks - second time same thing - EP, so I just limp - (if I have a few callers I'll raise just to build a pot) -

flop comes TT6 - I think he bet, and I call
Turn 7 - think he bet - but he mighta checked
river 9 - I figure I can't lose so I might as well bet and try to get $6 - he looks at his cards - complains about having only a 6, and mucks -

the player to his right says "you had a straight" -

and yes, he had an 8, but the cards hit the muck - I almost dragged them out of the muck myself -

so it was another $15 instead of my glorious $75 -

Life has been like that lately - one step forward, six steps back - gonna be a long winter

RB

2008-11-22T03:03:00.004-06:00

so as many of you know, I've been working on a project -

said project is done and available for review to the general public -

you may chase down clips and info here and here - I can also arrange a free download for poker bloggers who maybe would like to be kind enough to pass me a review if you dig the tunes.

having said that, I'm not sure when the next update will be around here - I think it's good that some things fade away like a passing relationship instead of hanging around like a nagging wife -

but for now, come check out the tunes - I especially like the opening ode to Las Vegas - none of that escaping to the good life stuff - I know that town too well by now :)

RB

2008-09-29T23:50:00.002-05:00

ah man, it's been so long since I played at Pokerstars - they have an 8 game tournament now -

had to read fast on triple draw 2-7 - I called a raise before the first draw before I realized aces don't play low in this game.

Then my 2nd hand I got a 34567 after the first draw but lucked out - I had read where that was bad juju and discarded the 6 for a 2 and was home free -

now THIS is poker - :) - this is a mental exercise - multiple games without all the push and pray - nice

RB

2008-09-29T08:17:00.002-05:00

No new poker games this week - maybe I'll get a couple in - for some reason my pokerdb isn't pulling pokerstars games - weird. I probably missed an update somewhere.

I'm in danger of becoming completely compartmentalized. I maintain two or three circles that are probably totally unaware of the existence of the other - I maintain a church circle, a music circle, a poker circle, a chess circle, a work circle, and potentially, a woman circle -

They have all been safe and compartmentalized for some time now but the dreaded Facebook is tearing down all boundaries. (That and people googling me) - I've run into some folks I never thought I'd run into again- (some pleasantly) - but eventually someone from Church is gonna wonder why I sang "Goddamn" and a song about stealing a Pastor's car all while this blog and it's tribute to excess continues to thrive and exist - LOL -

Should all these things occupy the same space at the same time we'll see something similar to what happens when you put instant coffee into a microwave oven - instant annihilation.

I have to be a real asshole today - I have a birdnest constructed under my air conditioner in the upstairs 2nd floor window. I am concerned that when I pull the A/C I will find lots of bird crap and eggshells on the ledge where they have set up residence, but mostly I'm bummed I have to displace them, but I can't leave that AC in the window, and I have no guarantee that they'll migrate for winter. I DO know if they stay it'll be a heck of a lot easier if I move them now (fall) then after the 3rd snow or something - then it'll be terrible - maybe I'll go buy a birdhouse and find a place to stash it before tearing the old one out.

shoot - I can't bear to do it - maybe next week.

RB

2008-09-23T21:02:00.002-05:00

I am rocking the Pokerstars $15 turbos - I am 1 for 2 (2nd place) but taking a beating the third game - may have go go back to chess - I just lost with AJ vs J8 - LOL - but I'm on a rally.

Man, I've been reading back on old blog posts - I barely recognize that guy anymore - I guess it's true that Drugs and Alcohol change you but I'm trying to figure out what was amplified....

It appears discontent was amplified. It appears the little things became big things and there were no big things worth worrying about. It appears the foul language of the Sopranos and Deadwood had an effect on my language which is too bad, because it becomes a crutch instead of expressing oneself in a meaningful manner.

At the same time, life was amplified...for better or worse, I burned brighter during those 5 years then I can recall before or since. I found friends, left the house, and lived with few overall regrets besides sitting on my guitar drunk and driving off a cute redheaded database geek when I was grumpy and out of pot. Those were days of hopping a plane and going to an unknown city for the purposes of exploration - of drinking warm rumplemintz and watching Seven Samurai in a mouse infested practice space because I either had no home or I had a borrowed room and didn't want to be there.

I mean, I thought I was grinding then sometimes, but I was grinding at high limits with risk - LOL - now I'm just grinding - watching the 401K rise and fall, trying to build house equity and looking for an excuse to hide in the mountains. I go to church in hopes of making a connection I've never made and never will, and now am going practically out of obligation more then because I want to, which is a bummer.

I am hoping the album changes that a bit....I have hopes for it that go beyond whether it might get me laid or famous. I believe it could be a key for some folks lives and I hope it's a key for mine, to unlock some door that I was meant to open.

--------------

on another observational side note, it would appear I lacked the love of poker to pursue it to excellence as I have with chess. I am of the opinion that if money were out of the equation, I wouldn't play poker - (how many of us truly would?) - but I can always find a love for chess that will have me putting down 4 games in a noisy bar on open stage night like I did last night. (I also played 4 songs, of course, during my time) -

Listening to a lot of Matthew Ryan (from 2003) - I like that line in the first track "I can't return to you, you must return to me" - it transfers blame but doesn't hold back in trying to fix it - There are a lot of things I could apply that line in my life to - God, life, joy, peace, contentment

I can't return to you, you must return to me...

that third SNG - busted with AK vs 99 - too bad I called his all in on the river - but he did bet with 3rd pair - thought he had crap but was too short stacked to turn back. Here's to not getting short stacked in life.

RB

2008-09-16T19:34:00.001-05:00

at great personal risk to my mental health, I have transferred some funds to one of my favorite poker sites (a site that is getting increasingly difficult to transfer funds too) and will play in a couple of $10 tourneys tonight -

Chess has preoccupied my mindset - but there's something to be said for skills at one game transferring to another - I'll try to refresh my brain on how to play this game - maybe jumpstart back into the tourney games I used to like but got so tired of being sucked out on -

could be interesting - will give updates when I'm done -

RB

2008-08-28T09:42:00.003-05:00

Hey guys - some of you have been wondering what the hell I have been doing.

Well, I've been recording an album - LOL

2008-07-04T00:42:00.001-05:00

wow - wow wow wow -

the Main Event started and I didn't even notice -

I suppose I've fallen out of love.

RB

2008-06-13T00:20:00.002-05:00

I have become mildly atrocious at updating, but I have a good excuse - while many longtime readers (who have probably died of liver failure) are aware of my musical leanings and inspirations, probably the average surfer is unaware that my first love is and always will be songwriting. (She's like a Call Girl - let's me call her my love but never returns the favor) -

About once a month now since April, I've made a one or two day trip down into a Minneapolis studio to put the touches on an album - I'm making my third and last trip at the end of June and hope to have it done by Sept.

One song in particular called (what else) Las Vegas Blvd. summed up my experiences pretty well as they went thru the Vegas Poker scene - fortunately I had yet to damage my memory with so much booze I can't remember the good times, but it's hilarious to me how many pictures I took with my disposable camera of stuff that um, can be seen anytime, like the exterior of New York, New York - LOL

hardly any online poker - a live trip once a month out to Canterbury (where I won some money that was to be studio money and gave it all back) and a trip to Montana.

I did read an interesting comment in a Chess Grandmaster's blog about the number of chess grandmasters who are moving to poker, and reading in a recent chess book (a history of a NYC public school's chess team) how their past time outside chess is any and all types of poker.

It's interesting to see the crossover, to say the least, esp. given that although they require similar skills, the actual application of them and the games themselves are as different as night and day, IMHO. In one game, perfect play is rewarded with draw after draw, and in the other one, perfect play is no indicator of success. In one, luck and deception play major roles, and in the other, all the armies are out and exposed from the get-go and only intentions are secret.

In any case, I'm still sorta waiting for the poker boom to finish off - but maybe I can finally catch a blogger's tourney this winter -

pax
RB

2008-04-18T03:51:00.004-05:00

about two years ago, when hurricane BrandiRose burst on the 2+2 scene (Brandi Hawbaker) - she made a bit of a crazy name for herself fast. Then things turned ugly.

At one point I remember her asking for prayers in a thread, and I actually sent her a PM saying I was going to do so - she replied back thanking me, saying she appreciated it - short and sweet.

I had put her name down on a list of names I was keeping track of and praying for. Like most spiritual ventures, I quickly struggled, and I actually found that list on the floor of my truck under some papers about two months ago - I cycled thru it quickly, figured everyone was doing well, and stashed the notebook for another day.

It is my understanding that the woman took her own life on Sunday.

I'm sorry for the trainwreck that her life became, esp. the public trashing she took. I'm sorry her demons were stronger then her. I'm sorry we never got the chance to at least say hi face to face.

But mostly I'm just sorry I stopped praying for her.

pax, BrandiRose.

RB

2008-03-11T08:10:00.001-05:00

it's weird - poker has absolutely no thrill for me now - maybe it was only the pursuit of money that did it - it certainly wasn't the high caliber of human being I encountered :)

RB

2008-03-02T03:17:00.003-06:00

I see I'm not the only one getting somber lately - reading links of bloggers past and present, old drinking buddies and card sharks - it's fun. If I ever make another Blogger's tour, it'll feel more like a class reunion then like a meeting of the minds.

I came up with a metaphor for my life the other day. I was driving, and I thought "My life used to be wild and exciting - now it's dull"

I'm as dull as a butter knife.
I'm as dull as a documentary about butter knives
I'm as dull as the director's commentary on a documentary about butter knives.

RB

2008-02-26T18:07:00.004-06:00

I had a dream recently - it was one of those where I went to bed at 10am and woke up at 1pm, took a whiz, and crashed again. When it kicked in, it kicked in fairly vividly, and I still remember it, perhaps for it's symbolism as much as anything.

In my dream, I put on my Army field jacket - (the one I've owned, worn and enjoyed for 17 years and bought at an army-navy store in College) and grab a blanket and pillow. I throw the pillow over my shoulder and drape the blanket over that to keep the pillow weighed down on my shoulder. And I begin walking westward from home. It's really sunny and bright, and it occurs to me I could be roasting wearing the jacket and having the blanket over my shoulder, but I never feel the heat.

As I get closer to where I'm going, it gets heavier, and I start leaning to make any progress, but I finally see where I'm going - I'm going to a bus terminus, and buses are lined up and I'm plogging forward to see where my bus is and reading the destinations above the windows, but at this point it's like I'm dragging a lead blanket. I am a block away but I'm leaning like when I was a kid dragging a 50 pound sled thru the snow and just barely moving, throwing all my weight forward with each step.

And then in the not too far distance, I see something - I see a chessboard - I am seeing it at an angle, from below the board at the h1 square like I'm a kid looking up at a table the game is resting on - the point of view was like on of those 15 miles spaceships in "Independence Day and it wasn't quite on top of me, but maybe 15 miles over in the distance and took up most of the right hand horizon. I'm almost at eye level, so I can see white pieces (the tops of them) but not the squares, and I see them moving very rapidly, in fast paced motion by themselves, but I can't see where they're being placed and I can't follow the game except some of those pawns were making illegal moves ;) I think the king had castled kingside and was stable behind it's wall of pawns/rook while the queenside was a flurry of activity.

What struck me most precisely at that moment was that I didn't see any black pieces yet near the edge of the board, but it was apparent judging by the fast shuffling of pieces that somewhere in the distance, black's army was on the march and I kept looking for black pieces but didn't see any. My angle of view maybe covered the 1-4th rows and all the action was over on the queenside, but that was about it when I more or less either woke up or lost the dream.

When I woke up I wondered why I would drag a blanket/pillow on a journey, since I've easily substituted the army field jacket I wore as an impromptu blanket and pillow before.

The metaphor felt like one of war. The war is in the distance, and I'm trying to get to my departure before it's on top of me, but my useless baggage weighs me down.

RB

2008-02-11T05:17:00.000-06:00

I shit you not - I was to be in Vegas tonight and for the next two days.

Booked trip two weeks ago - just sort of a 3 day vacation from the bitter cold of MN - it was -14 when I got on the light rail to go to the airport - got there, got thru, had my usual overpriced BK breakfast in the food court, and off to the gate.

Not boarding right away - a front baggage latch is frozen in a half state, so it's not secure for opening or closing - there will be a slight delay.

2.5 hrs later, the agent is telling us to get in line for rerouting - they don't have confidence in that aircraft - (no shit!) - so I get in line, and I'm told I can go to Houston and on to Vegas and arrive approx. 8 hrs later.

I thought about it for 30 min...losing a day in the sun, going to Houston, and although my final schedule would only have me 8 hrs late, between my not sleeping (was at work) and everything else, I decided to cancel, get refunds for the tkt and hotel, and come home - where I slept 13 hrs straight.

another time - now I'm back on a friggen chess board - :)

RB

2008-01-30T05:58:00.000-06:00

made a 4th cash in a row and another final table - busted in 7th to some sick, sick shit.

call with KQ and get a JTx flop - I mean to bet but I've got a funky keyboard, and while typing in my bets, I keep getting the field populated with 8's - usually hitting the 8 key clears it but not this time - I only want to bet half the pot so I just check, not being able to type in the bet amount I want.

my opponent had open ender and I made my top pair with the K - just sick how I couldn't bet and although he had an open ended st8 draw I could have at least made it bad for him to draw - fruck.

7th better then a kick in the teeth, however. - will try again at 7am and try to increase the streak to 5 :)

My favorite is raising the first hr with 55, getting repopped and laying it down and some smart ass quips "no balls" I outlasted that smartass who didn't even make the money - can't win it all in the first hr, right?

RB

2008-01-29T13:41:00.001-06:00

wow - two posts in one day - must be on crack. Actually, I'm kinda tired, and since this blog only sucked when I was sober or awake, maybe now is a good time - I've got an air called "Theidh Mi Dhachaigh" playing in the background - maybe it'll reset some good brainwaves or something.

Broke a cardinal rule and played in a 2nd and 3rd $10 tournament today. I've been stopping after the first cash, seeing as how I never make another one, but after the 3rd place finish, I took a 9th place finish in a 390 - (busted with QQ vs. AQ so I was a contender) - and a salvageable 18th in a 227 player turbo.

I'm not saying all the last few weeks I've spent at chess has anything to do with this sudden streak at poker. I got lucky and unlucky these games, but I seemed to get a 6th sense for repopping and timing my steals right - I rarely limped after the first hr, and stole enough blinds to stay ahead when it came time to win a pot. And when I played I was fearless.

It just has always seemed to me that I am depressed if I don't excel at something, and while I don't exactly excel at writing, or chess, or poker, the attempts in recent weeks to refocus brainpower on one or two tasks may have paid off - maybe I undid some of the alcohol damage from years ago - LOL. Rewired a few neurons to take a couple shorter paths again.

There's not a day I don't get a slight pain in my chest somewhere and wonder if it's anxiety or a heart attack. There's not a day I don't want to run back to the mountains, move up out of the sight of man and woman, and figure if I'm gonna be alone and lonely and aloof, at least I can do it in a place more scenic then a Minneapolis house that's twice as big as I need.

There's not a day I don't look in the mirror and realize I've crossed the line from young to middle aged - or maybe middle aged for me at least - :)

three cashes in a row - I should feel proud - (even though I essentially folded my way into the third one - thank you turbo blinds) -

but I feel like I wasted my whole day - and ergo, my whole life -

Maybe I'm just too paranoid every day is going to be my last.

rb

2008-01-29T07:38:00.000-06:00

In the past I played the Pokerstars $10+1 at 2am - lately Full Tilt has been putting one on and I've been playing that one instead. One could safely point out that it's because I have dough at FT and not Pokerstars right now, but Pokerstars was regularly getting 550-600 players for that one and Full Tilt has been consistently around 116-117. Field size is important to me - decreases the chances of some doughhead going on an unsurmountable rampage that I can't top at the final table. It also reduces the difficulty factor of making a final table by a factor of 5.

I also like the Final Table design at FT - cameras and spectators - LOL.

Last week I almost made the money and with 3 players to go I lost with AA vs AK unsooted - I was a 93% fav. and was still ahead post flop with a QJx flop and no flush draws - nevertheless that motherloving 10 came on the turn - end of story. Same thing a bit earlier in the tournament a day ago - AA vs QJ suited and flop gave him two pair.

After that you stop waiting for the good hands - you take the coin flips and hope, knowing even the best hand can die no time post flop.

took 3rd tonight - and with the cards I got I should have taken 30th - :) - I picked up some good timing and when I lost a flop I had chips to spare and most times I didn't see opposition due to my T/A play preflop - (post flop I'm as passive as a monk) -

so I may actually start this month off on a 70% ROI after 14 tourneys/SNG's - not a bad way to start the year.

RB

2008-01-14T16:55:00.000-06:00

played in two poker tourneys in the last 24 hrs - in one I took 36th and made 1.5 times my buyin back - in the 2nd I froze with QQ - 100 players to go, I raise with QQ and he repops 3 times what I raised.

I know to push here with 20xbb but decide to see a flop - it comes with an AK, I fold and he shows JJ - I froze and he knows I froze - utterly pathetic - I've been beating the dead horse so long I've got maggots flying up into my teeth -

I have applied for new jobs in other departments of my place of employment - I've heard potential employers will google you now, look for signs of you online - they'll find a myspace page with 1000 views and 4 lousy tunes - try taking that job from me now - HA.

I had two flashbacks of rumplemintz in the last week - very odd, like I'll catch a whiff of that nasty ass peppermint schnopps and I'll just feel it rush to me, the taste and thrill of trying to hold a chilled one down - I stopped drinking it due to a nasty near trip to detox I almost took with some workmates about 5 years ago and an urge to vomit at the bar.

I need an adventure.

RB

2008-01-02T20:42:00.000-06:00

a month without posting - may be my longest -

truth be told, I got so sick of bad beats and overcards never coming and the whole "poker is popular" thing - I am so sick of it - it's a fad now - I'd rather have the leathery grinder tight asses then the current breed of get-rich snot nose runt that proliferates most poker environments these days. When I read Johnny Hughes stories over on Iggy's site, THAT'S the poker I want and miss, not this internet player meets get rich quick scammer. I want the outlaw activities, the room with three tables stashed in a non-descript NYC office building and the 17 year old girl as hostess basically giving you the delivery menu of the food you want - LOL - maybe I'll write about that - I don't think I ever did really. Club's shut down now for sure.

truth is, I've spent the last 3 weeks rekindling an old flame with Chess - I feel the need to excel at something again that doesn't have such a large luck element. - I will still play a $5/10 tourney once in a while, but now it's more like once a week, not 3-4 times a day.

don't know when or if I'll ever come back to poker - perhaps the mental discipline I'm reusing here in Chess will be valuable to future poker games - there is a lot of crossover -

but for now, I have nothin' to say about America's favorite pasttime. I miss being an outlaw gambling degenerate trying to make 1.5bb/hr. Nowadays church girls play poker - phffffttt...

RB

2007-12-02T12:08:00.000-06:00

a few months ago on my last trip to Vegas, I spotted my first hooker - (my radar is off but I'm gathering they're the girls always walking alone)

she was most likely the cute Asian girl saying hi and giving a nice smile to every guy she walked by on the Strip at 3am - at the time I looked ahead and let it go, being that I had rejoined the Body of Christ and all...

but today, I'd smile and say hi, and find out how much a date was, and she'd follow me back up the Strip to the Imperial Palace or whatever $45/night dive I was staying at, and I'd tell her my first name, - yah, I'd probably use my real first name -

and she'd probably say her name was whatever I wanted it to be, and I'd tell her that her name was Kathleen.

It's plain to see, the sun won't shine today
but I ain't in the mood for sunshine anyway
maybe I'll go insane
I got to stop the pain
Or maybe I'll go down to see Kathleen.

A swallow comes and tells me of her dreams
She says she'd like to know just what they mean
I feel like I could die
as I watch her flying by
ride the north wind down to see Kathleen.

Stars hang high above, the oceans roar
the moon is come to lead me to her door
There's crystal across the sand
and the waves, they take my hand.
Soon I'm gonna see my sweet Kathleen.

Soon I'm gonna see my sweet Kathleen.

Kathleen - Townes Van Zandt

2007-11-29T03:06:00.000-06:00

I have had some interesting wakeup calls recently regarding my skill level as of late - my game has dried up, and I am pretty much just treading water in most games - I'd probably lose less money playing blackjack, but that's not the point of the post.

Years ago, as a kid, I played Chess - there are many similarities, and of course, many folks enjoy both games and can draw many parallels but one comes specifically to my mind. To become a master, you have to devote an obscene amount of time to study - and even a casual study will quickly reveal how much you still have to learn.

As a kid I showed an aptitude for the basics of chess - I mostly didn't put important pieces in front of anything that could take it and that was that - learned a bit about how to fork pieces, but never memorize openings, never looked for forced mates - (my checkmate was to get down to a rook/queen advantage of picking their pieces off and then forcing the K into the wall - the first checkmate ever inflicted on me) - I would trade liberally, and the idea of even having one pawn advantage seemed beyond insignificant to me.

Looking now at the Chess tools out there for improving your game, including online videos/sites/etc, I can safely say I see major deficencies in my game and can work accordingly - but with Poker I am still struggling to get to that point. I suspect the reason is because there IS a luck factor in poker that is easy to blame for every call by a joker with 22 - (I've lost 4 all-in's with overcards this week) - but it bothers me that I feel I've reached a learning plateau in poker at a time when others are surpassing me by leaps and bounds -

makes me yearn for chess again - another overwhelming hobby to take me from my true love, another terrible mistress, the songwriting.

I so need a girlfriend to tell me to drop all this crap - LOL - damn this fear of rejection.

RB

2007-11-06T18:30:00.000-06:00

I have a filter list set up for PL/Limit games on Full Tilt - the pickings are extremely bad - most games are taking 20 min. to get going - but when they do they're like robbing a corpse - forgot how fun first place is. - so desperate I'm playing a 6 handed turbo 6 max game on Pokerstars -

I don't know why I hate NL so much now - maybe it's just because the total sum of virtually all tournament experience right now has been NL, and I was pretty good at limit before the NL boom - man, I wonder if I could even FIND a limit tourney in Vegas outside the WSOP right now. Bellagio converted to a NL format years ago.

It's been said by others (Felicia, among others) that a migration to other games will be what keeps poker's momentum going. The joy of NL pushes and watching the bluff analysis only goes so far - great for TV, but I think a lot of folks like me are tired of the dice rolling. I understand there is a definate skill factor the pros have that puts them to the top of Internet fields again and again, but for most of us it's joe jerkoff with a porno on half the screen, slightly below chip stack, calling all in's with 33 cause he thinks he might be a 52/48 fav. while playing 6 tournaments.

Maybe I just am bored of the push/bet/calculate crap. Maybe it's because you know with Limit you're guaranteed playing more hands whereas in NL you have to adjust to the fact your first hand first round may be your last - (possible in PL too, but I digress - going back to my 33 example, a stack is much more likely to call an all in praying for a coinflip then calling a raise with 33 and 3 more rounds of action, it seems.

it's just something with me, and whether or not I like it, it does appear to be a profitable run again.

but not at a $3.25 turbo table :)

RB

2007-11-06T08:40:00.000-06:00

my self esteem has mandated a few changes -

1. - Back to 5.50 SNG's - and not NL - I want Limit/PL - one thing I noticed about NL is it makes players at the LL a lot more prone to shrugging and taking a coin flip with 33 - that's not a major PL/Limit play though they will often see a flop and let it go if the set isn't there. Maybe I'm just ready for a change.

2. - I'm starting my hair-loss regime again - I'm too ugly to be going bald - :)

3. - I dragged out the old Chessmaster 10 and installed it - won 1 of 3 and would have won 2 but my 10 min. time clock caught me off guard - screw that - next time I'll change the time to 20 min - :)

4. - I may buy a pro tools rig - if you don't know what that is, don't panic - but if you've heard anything recorded on the radio in the last 5 years, I'd bet almost even money it was done with Pro Tools recording gear - less on this as it's 50/50

5. - more rock, less sleep.

RB

2007-10-24T00:24:00.000-05:00

took a trip to Canterbury last night - apparently, the rake has increased to $5, including a $1 jackpot drop -

this happened two weeks ago - about the time the Fall Classic started - no one has said a word otherwise about it since -

one more reason not to go back to B&M, methinks - the .50/hr comps aren't worth it -

RB

2007-10-18T08:56:00.000-05:00

I am fucking pissed - watch out world - I'm back. My poker playing boss who might have read this has gone on to other locales, and no one else gives a shit - forget about it.

I spent two weeks in MT recharging my batteries and two weeks under new management and I'm already looking for excuses to call in sick - fuck me.

The Absolute Poker debacle is starting to make the mainstream - you can read about it here. There is also a 2+2 link that details all the great detective work done to establish that it appears a co-owner of the site was revealing access to the cards, etc, etc... - at the end of the day, I don't play there, but it makes you wonder how much of this goes down without our say so - I don't think I'd play for high stakes online, but these days, any $10 tourney with a 100K guarantee is big stakes in the long run.

spoke to my family who have a local indian casino near them in CA - they have installed one of these automated poker tables. Is it cheaper and less error prone then a dealer - heck yeah - is it better - I highly fucking doubt it - If I wanted to press buttons on a screen, I could do it at home - but I guess you get the socializing -

Right now, there are lots of assholes in well dressed suits who are interested in my views in the war on Iraq and the war on Iran - They are not interested because my opinions have validity, but because by getting them they can then fine-tune their message to have the greatest chance of ensnaring me to go along with their planned war. Those guys can go fuck themselves.

Right now, folks I don't know are sending me comments looking to get ads placed on this site - they use the phony "love the site - great poker content" when my poker content the last year has been for shit - I don't know who I'm more disgusted with - me or them.

Every other night I'm on a job site looking for a dream position that might fit my narrow range of skills or I'm trying to figure out a way to make enough money to tell the world to fuck off so I can move to a cabin in the mountains where I can enjoy the last vestiges of Nature before developers and CA millionaires come in and ruin it for everyone - that and the fucking 4 wheelers.

Bruce is right - this is Radio Nowhere - Britney flashes her crotch and troops watch on the TV screen while the city burns half a world away and a private mercenary army is slowly withdrawn from it's foreign occupation for potential work on it's home turf or just reassigned under a new contractor company.

And I'm starting to think letting the world burn might not be such a bad thing - I'm starting to think when you let the dumbest and richest fucks in the world run things that maybe you deserve what you get - throw off the shackles of feudalism and 50 years of TV and we're throwing them back on -

I am starting to hope the world gets exactly what's coming to it -

The only thing that makes the day any better is a new Steve Earle album on the Ipod - that's enough to get me thru today.

RB

2007-10-15T18:58:00.000-05:00

lately, I've been watching Law and Order SVU (the first season) while playing whatever online - you can watch the episodes at Netflix streaming online - probably hurting my game - LOL

Guess I should go buy the Ipod now -

RB

2007-10-14T15:34:00.001-05:00

made a bad call 90 minutes in with a guy who raised 3 hands in a row - actually got a bad flop and then made the bad call on the turn

what the fuck do I know about poker anyways -

RB

2007-10-14T15:02:00.000-05:00

who am I kidding - I track my progress like glacial melt -

end of the first hr up to 18K in chips - saw AlCan'tHang and Change100 fly by the busto list -

took one hand down with TT - and when looking back at the replay, I see I had KK and got a free big blind - I tend to read over the screen the first couple hrs.

Funny, had I been paying attention when it happened I'd have cried - heh

softest 10K tourney I've ever played
RB

2007-10-14T13:52:00.000-05:00

in a fit of uncharacteristic positive thinking, I held off on buying a 160GB Ipod to replace my broken one because they're giving a few away today in the Pokerstars blogger tourney.

1200 players with 10K in starting chips - this oughta be interesting - probably too overly positive -

I'm not even gonna look at the rankings - just my chip stack and the best poker I can play - see ya at the loser's lounge :)

RB

2007-10-03T23:41:00.000-05:00

I think I slept thru this last time

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker!

This Online Poker Tournament is a No Limit Texas Holdem event exclusive to Bloggers.

Registration code: 3465474

2007-09-15T21:30:00.000-05:00

Dr. Chako is in Iraq - we wish him the best -

we met at the WPBT one year, about a few hrs. before the actual get together, when we sat down at the same table in the Paris Poker Room and grinded out waiting for a couple slot machines to pay out, er, big pot players to cough up - (felt like a slot machine) - I met him and the Mrs. at that time and posted a link to his blog - one of the few I have -

for some time now he's made it known he could be called up to ye' ol' active service again - crap on a crutch. -

So we wish him the best - he's going to Iraq, I'm going to Montana - hell of a world.

RB

2007-09-10T07:12:00.000-05:00

been a quiet week in whiskeytown - (month, year?) - Civilization 4/Beyond the Sword came out, and it tends to be a fairly addictive game for me to play :)

going to Montana in a week - will be up there for two weeks.

I think Britney Spears is a pawn of the American Right - at a time when we should be talking about the surge and it's failures, all we can think about is Britney's failure to entertain at the VMA's - momma - am I glad I don't have cable anymore....

rb

2007-08-30T01:48:00.000-05:00

I have an addictive personality - I mean borderline OCD-addictive personality - it's really interesting what I will overdose on given half a chance.

My two big drugs of choice the last month have been gumballs and melodies.

I get on a gumball kick where I will start chewing 4 or 5 - spit them out as soon as the flavor goes south, and get 4 or 5 more - I can go thru a pound or two in 48 hrs - with red, yellow, and pink going the quickest, but blue, green, and orange are tasty too - wish I could get more grape -

the melodies are the usual - find a song that kills me, put it on repeat, and overplay by about 200 times till I have every nuance down pat - that has been Jay Farrar/Kelly Willis singing "Rex's Blues" - it's on the Son Volt retrospective, but you can find a live youtube video here - it's even better on the recording - with violins and just a nice easy base line - I've probably posted the lyrics to the 2nd verse about 30 times on this blog.

------------

The other night I put that song on repeat and went out to play my first live poker since Vegas - I chose to jump a limit to 6/12 for a number of reasons - I've come into a slight influx of cash due to a loan payback, I've been plugging holes by playing the 0.02/0.04, and 6/12 is probably the best game out there at Canterbury - where everyone can be presumed to be a donk, even the ones doing fancy chip tricks - I wore my rock and roll jacket and left the glasses at home - I looked like a bad 80's Brit-Pop relic - good look for me, and I only knew one other guy at the game.

I took a bad beat early - raised 5th hand in - (first raise I saw) with AK vs K8 and the guy flopped two pair to my one, and another hand and I was already down 100 - I rebought and started thinking of all these degenerate gamblers I admire - but more then that my head went into a different place - I just didn't care about the money or winning.

I think I started thinking about all the stuff I admire about these degenerates, and how if they lost everything on one roll of the dice, it's be "ah well" and the next week, same 50/50 coin flip with a new bankroll - this, of course, is terrible for poker, but my competitiveness has always made the game less enjoyable for me. And the money, quite frankly, wasn't that important to me anymore.

So I loosened up a bit - drew to the river on a flush draw with 2/7 suited (would have loved that crack - needed another club or 7 or 2) - called with TT when a T was exposed before I made the play - (heck, if I hit, I'm getting seriously paid and as it turns out, I took it with a boat 7's full of T's) - I just decided to play and lose with the best hands without concern for the money, cause I didn't need it. Laid down 9's to a raise and re-raise and saw an AK9 board where I would have flopped 2nd best :) - nice feeling to get out of that one

Of course, I started down, finally won a couple pots when I twice flopped sets, and ended up looking at my stack and suddenly realizing I was ahead. Couple more hands and I was up $75 - Woulda stuck around for the kids a bit longer but after 6am Rush Hr. becomes murder.

one of those moments where my game seemed to move ever so slightly forward - good time -

RB

2007-08-24T14:51:00.001-05:00

I sorta feel trapped in a Hunter S Thompson loop - sleeping 3 hrs, up 24, sleep 11, up 12, sleep 3, back to 24 again - bastards -

had a dream in the latest 2.5 hr jaunt where I was a catcher on a baseball field - but there were no batters - just the pitch and then the catcher's job to field the ball to wherever the runners where - except the catcher lost all motor skills in his right arm and when push came to shove couldn't even open the catcher's mitt with his left - a strong psychologist would tell me I have a fear of failure - but one that got her degree and never used would probably tell me I'm an abomination.

Abominations seem cute cause they appeal to our outsider and underdog sympathies, but once folks get used to them, they revert back to their namesakes - abominations never go to the cool parties but they are the life of the dive bar.

random thought - Time in jail is the new pantyless crotch shot - discuss.

Mother Teresa was haunted for 40+ years by the silence of God in her life - one of the most spiritual people in the world and all she could do was get used to the maddening deafness - - good - now I have something to look forward to - canonization to follow.

Man I wish I was drunk, or high, or sleeping.

rb

2007-08-22T10:15:00.001-05:00

I'm in a rut - if the sun were shining directly overhead it'd still be nothing but shadows -

took 6th in a $1 1200 player tourney - then I proceeded to walk 8 miles around two lakes cause I had nothing else better to do -

I'd have to win about a million before it made me feel better - bleh.

RB

2007-08-15T07:05:00.000-05:00

Debt is a terrible thing - I know this goes without saying, but the common wisdom seems to have been lost.

We readily embrace a 7 Trillion dollar deficit and credit cards making minimum payments. We finance with mortgages that have the potential to leave us homeless at an interest rate change. Wanna talk about providence of God? Finding a mortgage broker that got me an 80/20 loan that doesn't change is about as close as it gets - pays to get recommendations of friends from friends :)

I'm in the process of engaging in an accelerated payoff of the 20% loan - I've knocked 25% out and may be in position to knock out another 25% with some loaned money a few years ago coming back to me. It'd be tempting to look at that convertible at this time, or a couple new guitars.

But a paid for home is freedom - I can play slide guitar in a touring band as long as my home is paid for - rent out a room for food and entertainment.

We are truly becoming 21st Century serfs. Locked into debt payment plans and collection agencies who use intimidation tactics and shame to collect, and there is no sign anyone is going to jump from the car before it goes over the cliff cause we're playing chicken with gravity and they think it'll still turn around.

ay carumba. - What will become of this financial illusion we call the American Dream.

rb

2007-08-13T10:31:00.000-05:00

Vegas was Vegas - not much to report there - not much I haven't said before - took 4th in one tourney - bubbled in another one - bah.

So last week I moved from 0.02/0.04 poker to 0.05/0.10 poker - I expected a slight (barely) ramp up curve but it took almost 600 hands to get back into positive territory again. Today I finally accumulated 20 BB although it was more like 50 given I was 30 in the hole before I started this last run.

So here's some fun people to play with.

1. - Mr Scary Beat. Here's a guy who leaves the table after seeing someone deliver a crushing bad beat on someone else, usually with trash - I guess he figures if that guy will crack another man's AA with Q5 off suit then he's the next one.

2 - Mr. Ace to the River. - You know this guy - puts you on top pair but keeps calling cause he's got an A - if he gets to the river with it (and he'll always draw to it) it hurts - I started betting every pot they're in with anything and fire that last river bet knowing they may have gone that far with A high.

3 - Mr. Misses all his draws. - that guy's me :)

rb

2007-08-04T00:24:00.000-05:00

over the course of the last 25 days, I have documented some of my play in 0.02/0.04 microlimit poker at Pokerstars - this is an attempt to rebuild a bankroll while plugging some last minute leaks that keep me from being a consistant winner. In fact, my overall sessions are only about 56% successful, but my wins run about 10BB/100 hands on average, so my losses are being cut pretty well.

Tonight I spotted a guy tilting and raising every hand - I limped with 99 in MP, let him repop - got 4 callers, and I ended up flopping a set - I bet every street thereafter letting him raise and letting the other players call. (I was afraid a reraise would scare chasers and I couldn't get odds to do so anyways) - We got 4 bets on the river and I dragged down a buck pot, pushing me into a $30 bankroll. That's enough for the next level. I have turned $12 into $30.

I have steamed tremendously at times, even breaking one of my faux clay chips I keep at my desk to track my BR visually. (slammed 12 on the desk and one cracked in there - whoops) - but at the same time, my temper never took me too far into tilt territory - I kept a realistic view of what I was winning/losing, and continuted to play tight ABC poker - a little passive preflop, but with 5 callers per hand, all drawing to two pair with anything, it pays to raise a bit more and my PFR was about 6%, with about a 20%VP/IP - close enough - won about 63% of my showdowns too. I'll do some reading - figure out which hands I should be raising with more - I think I probably raised less because a lot of LP hands I might consider raising with I didn't due to 3-4 players already drawing and big cards like KQ not playing as well in multiway pots.

It took over 4K hands to win $18 bucks. I don't have the stats in front of me but I think 4200, with at least 3 bucks if not more paid in rake :) - I earned no FPP - LOL.

But I'm glad - considering I'm going to Vegas in 36 hrs, I couldn't have planned a better warmup to get my game back up to speed than this - lots of playing the cards, not the players, and knowing when to bet even when scared -- my pot odds counting is getting better again too - gotta like that.

Might get a game or two in tomorrow, but mostly it'll be work and then off to the light rail for 60 hrs of mild debauchery. I must confess I have missed my dump and visiting a couple friends out there. Staying at ye ol Imperial shithole again - love walking thru there - watching the Elvis and Madonna impersonators sing their tune and deal blackjack while staring at the Palace cuties - wish I could drink at the tiki bar - maybe I'll have a coke and play some video poker :)

I need this - and I want out of this town for 48 hrs - the chimp is flying in tomorrow to be photographed looking compassionate at the bridge - bah. Much less hypocricy in vegas - maybe that's why I like it so much. Broken dreamers, thieves, and liars, but not many hypocrites - no one goes there to be judgemental of others :)

staring at early 1970's pics of the town right now - man she was like Jayne Mansfield back then - now she's like Britney Spears - bleh.

rb

2007-08-02T07:29:00.000-05:00

up to $29 on the bankroll - will try to get an extra buck this afternoon.

when I go to Vegas on Sun, I'm telling everyone I came from Montana, cause there is no way I wanna talk about this fucking bridge for 3 days.

I hadn't driven across it in a while - almost did this previous weekend but it was closed (a whole stretch of that freeway was) so I went around

it used to have my favorite view of the city -

rb

2007-07-31T14:42:00.000-05:00

It has been an interesting morning - woke up and started playing my 0.02/0.04 penny poker trying to get up to $30 - took a small hit yesterday (well, a big hit) and today was looking to be no different -

One table had me losing with AA, AK 5 times, and AQ - the 2nd table was barely holding on - suffice it to say I was losing heart. Then one player came and sat down - she was cute, from San Jose, and seemed to play/raise every hand after about 20 min.

So I'm just grinding along - down .50, and I move tables and find myself on her Left on a 2nd table - can't find her under the search player feature, but I quickly pick up two more games she's at, usually two-three seats on her left. At the same time, some big hands/sets start coming in, and pretty soon I'm up and then I'm up even higher, almost to my $25 peak - and I finally win with AK when she bets me to the river - I spiked an A on the river but it was irrelevant because she was betting with 9 high.

Again, the question is - Bot? - clearly someone for whom raising was about standard for every friggen hand. 3-4 tables of stress and a couple more wins and I bailed - I'm currently at 24.93 working my way up to $30 and the next limit up - whew - LOL - getting tired of this penny shit - give me a nickle/dime a bet next time :)

this is good practice for remembering the surges and dips - they come, they go - ride long enough and it should swing back up again - even if it takes 300 hands to do it - rock and roll -

rb

2007-07-30T00:43:00.000-05:00

yes, the previous post is true - I am going to Vegas for about 54 hrs next week - gonna have to go on one heck of a streak - wish I had taken a 3rd day off - ah well -

I will NOT be playing in that $500 tourney at IP - I may hit a bellagio one, but I will probably slum the $50/60 tourneys around town Sun/Mon - I feel like playing Binion's once - also Venetian, Treasure Island, and maybe Luxor - would like to play poker in as many new rooms as possible this trip while hitting a couple old favorites (maybe the Monte Carlo for ambiance)

My 0.02/0.04 penny bankroll is up to $24 - I have doubled it, or effectively earned 300BB at my chosen limit - While I'm not esp. proud of my preflop AP, my post flop AP is steadily climbing - my river AP is now 1.00 and over - so my game is adjusting. I expect the Vegas limit games to play much the same way as 0.02/0.04 - including the free booze - LOL - but it's been a year or more since I've been out there playing for fun.

I find myself playing certain players over and over again and questioning their bot status. I'm finding players with over 100 hands and no preflop raising and stats that are suspiciously on the button - (.5, 2.0, and 1.5) as if to say a piece of software is making certain raises consistently 2 times out of 3 or something. In any case, they're not beating me, so no biggie :) - the real take and most likely spot for a bot is 1/2 NL from what I heard.

ah well - not much else to report, but best wishes and prayers to Felicia who is in rough shape in the hospital right now - was gonna go visit her at Mayo but found it it's the one in AZ, not Rochester - DOH!

pax
RB

2007-07-28T02:09:00.000-05:00

reading the past entries of the last 4 years have been an eye opener - I was a much better writer when I was wasted :)

or maybe I was just better - willing to leave the house - dare to dream - bleh bleh bleh.

fuck this - going to Vegas next week - rock and roll babee -

rb

2007-07-27T04:15:00.000-05:00

some interesting hits turning up in the statstracker - it appears I'm not the only one who stalks old friends and crushes - LOL.

In the quest for 0.02/0.04 penny poker dominance, I am half way to my goal - 2100 hands and I've won 9 bucks, or 50% of the bankroll needed to advance to 0.05/0.10 poker. my Preflop AF is beyond passive - only my dating style is more passive then my Preflop AF - think it's about .29 - I never break 1.0, even at the turn/river though I get a lot closer to .8 past the flop and turn. I assume most poker players know what the AF is, I even saw it mentioned in Card Player last week, but it's basically aggression factor - it's the number of times you bet+raise divided byt hte number of times you check+call - in short, if you bet/raise more then you check/call, it's over 1.0 -

I think I have a new issue that's never happened to me before - I think I have a married friend who has a crush on me - recent comments/postings elsewere made me a bit nervous, and recent song lyric postings (she's a songwriter too) suggest I was a target somewhat before I was aware of it, but of course, I could be just really stupid and overreaching. Were I a less honorable man, this would be good - as it stands, due to my religious rekindlings, it is profoundly bad - so I will continue to play ignorant lest the friendship be damaged irreversably - shouldn't be a problem - I do ignorant well.

but even during my heathen days, it was always bad - I would never be the one that broke up a marriage, even if I were interested - man, that's even one of the 10 Commandments, for fruck's sake.

aside from that bright spot, life sucks - I keep having premonitions of an early death. Not the self-inflicted kind, but just the understanding that once my task on earth is done there isn't another second to waste by my being here. Seems like 10 or 20 times a day I'm thinking this could be the day I keel over and collapse or slump back in my chair at work where they'll find me 10 hrs later thinking I've been sleeping. Sometimes, I find myself caring/praying that's not the case, and sometimes, I think it's about damn time as I prayed for it often enough a few years ago.

I find myself drifting back to old haunts, like lying on my old drunk futon (the bed I had when I was slugging back 7 shots a night, now a futon couch in the upstairs office) - listening to about 40 Townes Van Zandt tunes - all I need now is a TV at the foot of the couch and some warm Rumplemintz and I'll be back in the year 2002 - :) - more then ever lately, Townes has been an anchor. Someone mentioned recently that he died at 52 (the age he predicted) - and the guy observed - "That's a full deck" - wonder if I'll make 52?

I keep feeling like the damage is done and I haven't realized it yet - I think my right eyelid droops where it didn't before and this numbness in the neck never really seems to subside even after 12 hrs without the mouse - Think I mighta smoked one too many bowls before getting straight and killed off some part of the brain that used to do the high level mental stuff that now feels like it's twice as hard as before. - I always feel dumber then I used to and I'm never able to look anyone in the eye anymore -

of course, with 35 fast approaching, I could just be having an early overdramatic midlife crisis - but I've never imagined myself as an old man anyways.

hope I'm wrong for a little while, at least long enough to see the world go to hell and stand in the breach.

rb

2007-07-21T04:11:00.000-05:00

Our Mother The Mountain, by Townes Van Zandt

My lover comes to me with a rose on her bosom
the moon's dancing purple all through her black hair
and her ladies-in-waiting she’ll stand 'neath my window
and the sun will rise soon on the false and the fair

She tells me she comes from my mother the mountain
her skin fits her tightly and her lips do not lie
She silently slips from her throat a medallion
slowly she twirls it in front of my eyes

I watch her, I love her, I long for to touch her
the satin she's wearin' is shimmering blue
Outside my window her ladies are sleeping
my dogs have gone hunting the howling is through

So I reach for her hand and her eyes turns to poison
and her hair turns to splinters, and her flesh turns to brine
she leaps cross the room, she stands in the window
and screams that my first-born will surely be blind

She throws herself out to the black of the nightfall
She's parted her lips but she makes not a sound
I fly down the stairway, and I run to the garden
no trace of my true love is there to be found

So walk these hills lightly, and watch who you're lovin'
by mother the mountain I swear that it's true
Love not a woman with hair black as midnight
and her dress made of satin all shimmering blue

2007-07-18T07:52:00.000-05:00

watched the first 6 hrs on ESPN PPV of the WSOP - after that it seemed apparent that barring a total nimrod hand that Jerry was gonna take it down - a man of deep Christian faith too - I kinda admire that - I'd have been the one praying too and thanking Jesus at the final table if I made it - LOL - if I've made it that far, who would I be to deny God then :)

speaking of which, I've applied for membership at a local church of my old denomination - don't know why - no women there - or maybe that's exactly why I like it :) - easier to worship without all the beautiful women all done up in their sunday best - LOL.

but back to the WSOP - I initially expected to see hole cards, and when I realized I wouldn't I was indigent for about 5 sec. - but then you realize in today's real time text messaging environment it'd be impossible to keep players from getting info relayed to them via horses if someone were to be broadcasting that info live - kinda like sticking microphones into the Football huddles - you'd be giving strategy to the enemy who'd relay it back - and what point is PPV if it's not real time.

but Phil Gordon's expert analysis made it interesting - he knows the game very well, and hearing him talk about real players/hands instead of monkey boy who's a two bit actor at Celebrity Poker was fun - I wish I had stuck around for the Stu Unger Documentary after the 6 hr break, but I'd have had to sit thru Jamie Gold's final table analysis, and it wouldn't have been worth it :) Even Phil Hellmuth can be tolerated in small doses when paired with Phil Gordon -

I think all that expert play had an effect on my game - I'm more aggressive, checkraising more - and I just took down a $1.63 pot - which in layman's terms, is 40BB in limit - :) - quad 2's save the day - LOL

not a bad WSOP - to see naked aggression take down so many pots was genuinely entertaining - LOL

RB

2007-07-16T21:02:00.000-05:00

A good friend of mine has informed me the WSOP is going to be pay per view tomorrow - I think we're gonna cough up 20 bucks each for the viewing and a pizza -

been doing this bankroll thing for real - and it's sorta paying off - making about 6BB/100 hands (mostly in the last 400) - and and have made almost 20% of what I need to move up to the next level after 1450 hands or so - some serious grinding -

found out this numbness in my neck that I was afraid was a stroke is most likely the result of carpel tunnel after about 13 hrs a day on a PC using a mouse - even on my days off I'm raising my arm way too much - it also gets bad at a poker table - so I've been playing more on the laptop - left handed with the TV going - better to multitask two lame tasks then playing multiple tables, I have found -

but for some reason, I want to build the bankroll right as Mason Malmuth presents it, and be getting back to limit with the 300BB threshold - (he thinks you need 300BB to play a limit properly) - I need to work on my valuebets and laydowns - get in that 30/60 game out at Canterbury - ;) - - instead of depositing 200 and playing over my bankroll, now every bet and dollar is precious - hard won - winning 4 bucks in 2/4 penny holdem is about 100BB - I will need about 14 more dollars - that's gonna take some time.

I am finding my play a lot more passive at this limit - to raise with AA or KK is to put my opponents on a read and odds to draw for that 2nd pair - I find that my attempts at putting opponents on a hand are totally useless - I can only read my hand, the board, and presume - no matter what I do or raise with, unless I see a checkraise, I can never be sure what my opponents have. Checkraise is 80% 2 pair, and 20% BS bluff.

It becomes very easy to spot the guy with an 80% vpip rating - I find it's very easy to flop a gutshot and generally be getting 10-1 odds to draw to it - LOL - with 7 players seeing the flops - it's not hard :)

In short, one who makes money at 0.02/0.04 holdem is learning a game he doesn't wanna play anywhere else - LOL - but hey - part of the task of poker is adjusting to any game - and if I can't beat this game, the 0.05/0.10 will be just as bad -

rb

2007-07-11T14:26:00.000-05:00

listening to Rufus Wainwright cover Leonard Cohen's "Chelsea Hotel #2" - that song reminds me of Pauly for some reason - maybe the part about Janis Joplin giving him head on the unmade bed :) I so have to go stay in that dive someday.

playing 0.02/0.04 holdem has been an experience - I have tilted massively and slammed my chips and typed nasty comments in the chat window - but I remind myself it's 0.02/0.04, and despite the fact most of them are dumber then GWB on a drunken bender, I delete my nasty comments before hitting send and take it out on the chips I keep stacked by my PC - I never let them see me tilt - and I'm glad - I mean, it's friggen 0.02 penny holdem, for fuck's sake - I think this is the time where I learn to control my passions at the table - for me the money is irrelevant to the win, but at the same time, you gotta remember if you played it right and your opponent is a dumbfuck that sees 89% of the flops, that it's not your issue or problem - not really. You 3 bet the K's and lost to a J5 offsuit that called two extra bets cold under the gun, but you didn't play the hand wrong.

I play 100 hands at a time, sort of a nice benchmark - usually 2 or 3 tables, and seriously need to bring up my aggro factor - but after a couple nice runs, I'm averaging about 5BB/100 hands - but I will have to more then double my bankroll to have the option to play 0.05/0.10 cent holdem -

mostly I'm really liking the option to just play whenever I want for 30 minute burst instead of pissing away 2.5 hrs for tourney dishwater - tourney fields are brutal when they get over 1K - so I'll keep one site for tourneys and one site for my ring game play -

having an issue getting my notes imported into Pokerstars - probably getting to be a pretty big file - :)

gotta work in 5.5 hrs and I've had 3 hrs sleep - crud - maybe a carrot will do it - LOL

rb

2007-07-10T02:12:00.000-05:00

so I was broke and I have made the minimum buyin on a poker site - or rather I have bought in for 300BB at the lowest limit at a poker site, which amounts to about 12 bucks at 0.02/0.04

If I can't beat the game and make some money at this level and move up in limits a few times before going busto I need to quit playing -

and I need to get away from tourneys a while - the luck factor is breaking my heart.

rb

2007-07-07T01:47:00.000-05:00

I've been busy gigging - ok, just one gig, but it took a couple weeks to get ready and practice and so forth.

It's offical - the WSOP this year is going to be about 2000 less then last year.

I'm sure some will lament the decline and the fact it hasn't grown steadily as in previous years - self-proclaimed pundits will proclaim the end of poker or the start of the decline of the boom -

meh -

I'm glad it's smaller - less ridiculous - I'd like to see those who got into poker with the idea of making money get out and go back to flipping burgers -

I'd like to see it be about the game and sportsmanship again instead of trying to force a player on tilt by being an obnoxious dick at the table and calling it strategy.

I'd like smaller fields again - :) - I'm down with 2K less -

of course, I'm not THERE, but hey - another year

of course, I say that every year

:(

rb

2007-06-25T01:14:00.001-05:00

funny - this'll tell you something about truth in advertising -

Imperial Palace is having a 3 day no juice poker tourney Aug 5th-7th according to my mailer - as of right now, flights to vegas are $250 and a room at the IP for two nights is $100

I could fly in Sun, play, bust out, and hang on the strip for two days - right? - except when I get down to the nitty gritty - Sun is a registration/drawing for the players - Monday is played in TWO HEATS - and Tues. is the finals/championship.

The IP tourneys have always been a little dicey - was wondering how they'd pull off a 3 day tourney - now I know :) - it's like, half a day on Monday, and probably a few hrs on Tuesday -

that's the 3 day tourney?

worst part? - I'm still thinking of going - I miss Vegas :)

rb

2007-06-24T06:57:00.000-05:00

so I'm flipping thru the channels, and I see an old episode of Soul Train - I say old because of the predominance of afro's and the older style of clothing -

and I see the host interviewing a guy who looks suspiciously like Dr. Pauly with a 'fro.

And I see Pauly has made day two of the donkafest at the WSOP -

concidence? - if it was anyone but Dr. Pauly and Soul Train, I would dismiss it as such, but if I were to expect to see anyone from the Blogger's hall of fame on Soul Train with an afro, I would expect it to be Pauly.

Oh, he also had a thick foreign accent and was producing disco hits -

GL, Pauly
RB

2007-06-24T02:32:00.001-05:00

the longest day of the year has passed us by - now they get shorter and gradually colder - but not nearly as cold as they'll be a few weeks after 12/21, the shortest day of the year - funny how that works.

I have a songwriter's gig on July 3rd - songwriting and poker are, I would imagine, a lot like someone I've been married to for about 50 years, and I sorta care for them and wouldn't want to see anything bad happen to them, but the passion is gone and I have no idea how to get it back.

I find myself treating online money as play money (and given the current crop of cashout issues, maybe it is) and I start/restart little contests like buying in for the mininum bankroll and trying to hop up levels till I bust out around .10/.25 cent levels -

meanwhile, kids with huge rolls are banking on the WSOP - gambling big and hoping for the score big enough they can go pro and chase the unfaithful mistress of tournament poker.

I don't know which of us is the bigger sucker, but at least I spend less :)

rb

2007-06-18T22:02:00.001-05:00

I am tired and bummed - looking up girls I dated once on Myspace (or tried to date) - and their websites where they maintain a presence - no idea why - I wouldn't dare try to communicate with one right now -

all work and no play make whiskey a dull boy - if only flying out to Vegas wasn't so damned expensive right now -

rb

2007-06-17T00:39:00.000-05:00

There is a Bruce Springsteen song I once posted the lyrics to here

Patty Griffin does a powerful acoustic cover of it - I just put it on repeat and rack up 50 hits in the Ipod.

There is something about the chorus I keep coming back to -

I'm driving a stolen car
down on eldridge avenue
each night I wait to get caught
but I never do

Those lines take on so many meanings for me. The guilt and fear that comes with that mindset - waiting to get busted - reminds me of why I gave up certain habits that had become destructive - It has spiritual connotations for me, as I always live my life fearing that I've let down the authorities in my life - God, family, company (usually in that order) and it is a constant fear that I will be caught by one of the few people in the world I look up to.

the last version of the chours is also something

and I'm driving a stolen car on a pitch black night
and I'm telling myself, it's gonna be alright
I drive by night, and I travel in fear
that in this darkness I will disappear.

songs like this are what made me want to become a songwriter, and I took a long detour every few years trying to get there quicker, only to find my songwriting became an expentionally more difficult effort for me - (perhaps cause I study from the best - and I want to please that muse more then anything) - it's an art form to me I want to be proud of my contribution to - I throw out so many songs and I threw one out today. It was ok, but not great - that's all - not great.

I wish I could get this album done - I wish I practiced more and had better musical chops - I've improved a little, but not to the degree of a moderately regionally respected musician. Wish I could be a songwriter like Townes was - that's all I really wanna be now. But I get so frustrated with the form I basically quit in my head every week and get dragged into it only after 50 continuous plays of a Bruce Springsteen song sung by Patty Griffin.

it consumes me to a degree I still let it interfere with my personal relationships - what a terrible thing to be chained to - and it requires proficency in both literary and musical arts - and when I get complimented on singing, for example, I don't feel as half as good as when i've been complimented for the songwriting.

wonder if I still have a gig in july - Chris needs to get back to me.

and I'm driving a stolen car on a pitch black night
and I'm telling myself, it's gonna be alright
I drive by night, and I travel in fear
that in this darkness I will disappear.

rb

2007-06-12T05:25:00.001-05:00

been a few days - what's happening? Been mostly putting the music posts on the myspace page now, but I did get my 12-string.

saw an 80's cover band last week - the most noticable part of that was the herd of 25 cowgirls that came in for a bachelorette party - I noticed a couple in particular would have nothing to do with me despite my nice new short haircut - I have GOT to start drinking again :( - this whole thing about the taylor hicks hair being a chick magnet is full of shit :)

to make it worse, I'm actually going to church again - no comment there

meh - I'm just drifting - warm summer.

rb

2007-05-31T23:06:00.000-05:00

In a very short period of time, I will be buying a 12-string acoustic.

When I do, I shall play this song first -

Broken Bottle, by Alejandro Escovedo

If I could reveal what I feel for you
And mark my words with a gentle kiss
Like Saint George I'd slay the dragon
Just to find I'd lost

From outside these windows there's walls between us
And outside is outside and that's where I'll be
I'll be wrapped in the morning dew
Just to find you gone

So pour me a drink from the broken bottle
And fill my glass with the dirty water
What I've lost is gone what I've gained has no name
And I'll take my leave once more

Ah J'taime mon amour, Ah J'taime mon amour
Fools for love in any language
Sometimes get burned by the heat of beauty
Just to find she's gone

My love is a scar that I wear for you
Like a crown of thorns, like a bad tattoo
I wear sin like a ring of beauty
Just to find you've gone

So pour me a drink from the broken bottle
And fill my glass with the dirty water
What I've lost is gone what I've gained has no name
And I'll take my leave once more

2007-05-28T20:12:00.000-05:00

pretty sure playing Razz and Holdem on two tables at the same time is a good way to cause brain damage

rb

2007-05-27T15:38:00.001-05:00

in theory, I've blown 33% on my online winnings in the last two weeks trying to get another big finish -

in truth, I've burned a lot of CD's onto the ipod at the same time - so the time was productive in ways that wouldn't have otherwise been productive had I just been playing poker - LOL

go figure.

RB