Wednesday, December 29, 2010

flashback a few years ago - I wanna say 2002 give or take - my first great relationship burned out, my job was tanking, and I was somewhere between despondent and drunk most of the time -

and my buddy Jerry gives me a call and asks me to meet him at a local bar where he spills the beans - he's moving to Nashville -

and somewhere in the hangover, or maybe just wishful projection, I'm pretty sure the offer was extended - "come to Nashville with us, and live in a spare bedroom till you get a good job, etc, etc"

and I'm sure I pleaded insecurity, or maybe the choice of not making a choice was enough, or maybe I was afraid to put myself out there (or maybe I was afraid of dying an alcoholic in their spare room) but I said no -

lately, I've been busy - gotten engaged - did my own album, and been successful at the work grind, but driving home at 4am this morning, from a losing poker session, it just started to hit me really hard -

I'm old now - old and settled - (not OLD, but old for the music scene) - and when the shot came, I should have gone to Nashville with them - I should have swung and struck out in the big leagues instead of trying to scrape an existence in the minors - I say this realizing had I done so, I wouldn't have met the current fiance, and other choices like the songs I wrote and the sound I got and the point I quit drinking could all be different or non-existent

but I regret not going - I regret staying behind and watching my hair go grey and start to fall out while my friends released 2 or 3 albums and hobnobbed with my peers - I regret not being challenged by better musicians, songwriters, and those in it to win it, and not to just dream it.

Tonight, at 4am on a cold Minneapolis night, I regret not moving to Nashville when I had no reason and no attachments not to


Thursday, December 16, 2010

I have made one of those radical adjustments to play that will probably cost me long term but may (at least today) pay off short term

I have made a LOT of my bets/raises/calls lately based on my Pokertracker HUD display for my stats - I know I should be seeing between x and y number of hands, and I know I shouldn't be so passive pre/flop and my AF should be higher

But you know what - fuck that - I am tired of playing to stats and worse yet, I'm tired of losing as a result - I feel like I'm a slave to the 2+2 whore of maximum EV - and instead of playing cautious when I want, I'm bet, bet, bet cause they won't fold and I need to maximize value - I also spew chips like a drunk college student.

decided today to not give a flying f@##$ about what MY stats say and it's paid off with a $20 win multitabling over 4 tables at .25/.50 - I WILL get better at this game, and right now, since betting isn't scaring anyone away, I'm going to go back to what feels like my base game - Passive Weak-Tight :D


Wednesday, December 08, 2010

.... - The latest gossip is that the Tax Cut Bill that Obama is trying to push thru will likely have an addition by Harry Reid that will put steps in to legalize Internet Poker

What's the catch? - a 15 month blackout for US players

I've been trying to wrap my brains around this - On one hand, we're talking adding legitimacy to the back alley that has been in legal limbo for years - we no doubt will kill the games for 15 months - and hopefully the two biggest sites have prepared for this and saved some reserves.

And as someone else pointed out, you don't do this, what could happen to Inet poker in the future could be a lot worse.

And yet with Harry Reid pushing it and Nevada no doubt getting a ton of benefit from a 15 month freeze, one has to wonder how much MGM/Harrah's has staked on this...

Personally the whole tax cuts thing disgusts me anyways - let them expire for everyone if this damn deficit is so horrible like they say - and tax online revenues - fine - but a 15 month freeze (minimum) is IMHO a game killer -

but maybe everyone will be fine waiting 15 months - I don't know - I'll be down about it but there's always the live stuff, I guess