Thursday, August 30, 2007

I have an addictive personality - I mean borderline OCD-addictive personality - it's really interesting what I will overdose on given half a chance.

My two big drugs of choice the last month have been gumballs and melodies.

I get on a gumball kick where I will start chewing 4 or 5 - spit them out as soon as the flavor goes south, and get 4 or 5 more - I can go thru a pound or two in 48 hrs - with red, yellow, and pink going the quickest, but blue, green, and orange are tasty too - wish I could get more grape -

the melodies are the usual - find a song that kills me, put it on repeat, and overplay by about 200 times till I have every nuance down pat - that has been Jay Farrar/Kelly Willis singing "Rex's Blues" - it's on the Son Volt retrospective, but you can find a live youtube video here - it's even better on the recording - with violins and just a nice easy base line - I've probably posted the lyrics to the 2nd verse about 30 times on this blog.


The other night I put that song on repeat and went out to play my first live poker since Vegas - I chose to jump a limit to 6/12 for a number of reasons - I've come into a slight influx of cash due to a loan payback, I've been plugging holes by playing the 0.02/0.04, and 6/12 is probably the best game out there at Canterbury - where everyone can be presumed to be a donk, even the ones doing fancy chip tricks - I wore my rock and roll jacket and left the glasses at home - I looked like a bad 80's Brit-Pop relic - good look for me, and I only knew one other guy at the game.

I took a bad beat early - raised 5th hand in - (first raise I saw) with AK vs K8 and the guy flopped two pair to my one, and another hand and I was already down 100 - I rebought and started thinking of all these degenerate gamblers I admire - but more then that my head went into a different place - I just didn't care about the money or winning.

I think I started thinking about all the stuff I admire about these degenerates, and how if they lost everything on one roll of the dice, it's be "ah well" and the next week, same 50/50 coin flip with a new bankroll - this, of course, is terrible for poker, but my competitiveness has always made the game less enjoyable for me. And the money, quite frankly, wasn't that important to me anymore.

So I loosened up a bit - drew to the river on a flush draw with 2/7 suited (would have loved that crack - needed another club or 7 or 2) - called with TT when a T was exposed before I made the play - (heck, if I hit, I'm getting seriously paid and as it turns out, I took it with a boat 7's full of T's) - I just decided to play and lose with the best hands without concern for the money, cause I didn't need it. Laid down 9's to a raise and re-raise and saw an AK9 board where I would have flopped 2nd best :) - nice feeling to get out of that one

Of course, I started down, finally won a couple pots when I twice flopped sets, and ended up looking at my stack and suddenly realizing I was ahead. Couple more hands and I was up $75 - Woulda stuck around for the kids a bit longer but after 6am Rush Hr. becomes murder.

one of those moments where my game seemed to move ever so slightly forward - good time -


Friday, August 24, 2007

I sorta feel trapped in a Hunter S Thompson loop - sleeping 3 hrs, up 24, sleep 11, up 12, sleep 3, back to 24 again - bastards -

had a dream in the latest 2.5 hr jaunt where I was a catcher on a baseball field - but there were no batters - just the pitch and then the catcher's job to field the ball to wherever the runners where - except the catcher lost all motor skills in his right arm and when push came to shove couldn't even open the catcher's mitt with his left - a strong psychologist would tell me I have a fear of failure - but one that got her degree and never used would probably tell me I'm an abomination.

Abominations seem cute cause they appeal to our outsider and underdog sympathies, but once folks get used to them, they revert back to their namesakes - abominations never go to the cool parties but they are the life of the dive bar.

random thought - Time in jail is the new pantyless crotch shot - discuss.

Mother Teresa was haunted for 40+ years by the silence of God in her life - one of the most spiritual people in the world and all she could do was get used to the maddening deafness - - good - now I have something to look forward to - canonization to follow.

Man I wish I was drunk, or high, or sleeping.


Wednesday, August 22, 2007

I'm in a rut - if the sun were shining directly overhead it'd still be nothing but shadows -

took 6th in a $1 1200 player tourney - then I proceeded to walk 8 miles around two lakes cause I had nothing else better to do -

I'd have to win about a million before it made me feel better - bleh.


Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Debt is a terrible thing - I know this goes without saying, but the common wisdom seems to have been lost.

We readily embrace a 7 Trillion dollar deficit and credit cards making minimum payments. We finance with mortgages that have the potential to leave us homeless at an interest rate change. Wanna talk about providence of God? Finding a mortgage broker that got me an 80/20 loan that doesn't change is about as close as it gets - pays to get recommendations of friends from friends :)

I'm in the process of engaging in an accelerated payoff of the 20% loan - I've knocked 25% out and may be in position to knock out another 25% with some loaned money a few years ago coming back to me. It'd be tempting to look at that convertible at this time, or a couple new guitars.

But a paid for home is freedom - I can play slide guitar in a touring band as long as my home is paid for - rent out a room for food and entertainment.

We are truly becoming 21st Century serfs. Locked into debt payment plans and collection agencies who use intimidation tactics and shame to collect, and there is no sign anyone is going to jump from the car before it goes over the cliff cause we're playing chicken with gravity and they think it'll still turn around.

ay carumba. - What will become of this financial illusion we call the American Dream.


Monday, August 13, 2007

Vegas was Vegas - not much to report there - not much I haven't said before - took 4th in one tourney - bubbled in another one - bah.

So last week I moved from 0.02/0.04 poker to 0.05/0.10 poker - I expected a slight (barely) ramp up curve but it took almost 600 hands to get back into positive territory again. Today I finally accumulated 20 BB although it was more like 50 given I was 30 in the hole before I started this last run.

So here's some fun people to play with.

1. - Mr Scary Beat. Here's a guy who leaves the table after seeing someone deliver a crushing bad beat on someone else, usually with trash - I guess he figures if that guy will crack another man's AA with Q5 off suit then he's the next one.

2 - Mr. Ace to the River. - You know this guy - puts you on top pair but keeps calling cause he's got an A - if he gets to the river with it (and he'll always draw to it) it hurts - I started betting every pot they're in with anything and fire that last river bet knowing they may have gone that far with A high.

3 - Mr. Misses all his draws. - that guy's me :)


Saturday, August 04, 2007

over the course of the last 25 days, I have documented some of my play in 0.02/0.04 microlimit poker at Pokerstars - this is an attempt to rebuild a bankroll while plugging some last minute leaks that keep me from being a consistant winner. In fact, my overall sessions are only about 56% successful, but my wins run about 10BB/100 hands on average, so my losses are being cut pretty well.

Tonight I spotted a guy tilting and raising every hand - I limped with 99 in MP, let him repop - got 4 callers, and I ended up flopping a set - I bet every street thereafter letting him raise and letting the other players call. (I was afraid a reraise would scare chasers and I couldn't get odds to do so anyways) - We got 4 bets on the river and I dragged down a buck pot, pushing me into a $30 bankroll. That's enough for the next level. I have turned $12 into $30.

I have steamed tremendously at times, even breaking one of my faux clay chips I keep at my desk to track my BR visually. (slammed 12 on the desk and one cracked in there - whoops) - but at the same time, my temper never took me too far into tilt territory - I kept a realistic view of what I was winning/losing, and continuted to play tight ABC poker - a little passive preflop, but with 5 callers per hand, all drawing to two pair with anything, it pays to raise a bit more and my PFR was about 6%, with about a 20%VP/IP - close enough - won about 63% of my showdowns too. I'll do some reading - figure out which hands I should be raising with more - I think I probably raised less because a lot of LP hands I might consider raising with I didn't due to 3-4 players already drawing and big cards like KQ not playing as well in multiway pots.

It took over 4K hands to win $18 bucks. I don't have the stats in front of me but I think 4200, with at least 3 bucks if not more paid in rake :) - I earned no FPP - LOL.

But I'm glad - considering I'm going to Vegas in 36 hrs, I couldn't have planned a better warmup to get my game back up to speed than this - lots of playing the cards, not the players, and knowing when to bet even when scared -- my pot odds counting is getting better again too - gotta like that.

Might get a game or two in tomorrow, but mostly it'll be work and then off to the light rail for 60 hrs of mild debauchery. I must confess I have missed my dump and visiting a couple friends out there. Staying at ye ol Imperial shithole again - love walking thru there - watching the Elvis and Madonna impersonators sing their tune and deal blackjack while staring at the Palace cuties - wish I could drink at the tiki bar - maybe I'll have a coke and play some video poker :)

I need this - and I want out of this town for 48 hrs - the chimp is flying in tomorrow to be photographed looking compassionate at the bridge - bah. Much less hypocricy in vegas - maybe that's why I like it so much. Broken dreamers, thieves, and liars, but not many hypocrites - no one goes there to be judgemental of others :)

staring at early 1970's pics of the town right now - man she was like Jayne Mansfield back then - now she's like Britney Spears - bleh.


Thursday, August 02, 2007

up to $29 on the bankroll - will try to get an extra buck this afternoon.

when I go to Vegas on Sun, I'm telling everyone I came from Montana, cause there is no way I wanna talk about this fucking bridge for 3 days.

I hadn't driven across it in a while - almost did this previous weekend but it was closed (a whole stretch of that freeway was) so I went around

it used to have my favorite view of the city -